Spring 2016: The Power of Now Aha Moments: Aha Moment #21 - Understanding the Surrendered Life

For many years I refused to surrender to whatever chapter I was in my life. I always wanted to be ahead.  I wanted desperately to be anywhere but where I was. I looked at surrender as giving up on myself and my life. I looked at it as getting stuck and being trapped in a life I hated. I saw surrender as throwing in the towel and saying ok you win; My life will be mediocre and suck like many I've known.

That's not what surrender actually is

Eckhart Tolle defines surrender as:

The simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.

I would say over the past 2 years I've come to understand this principle and practice it. Rather than trying to force things or fight whatever chapter I am in, I've learned to let It come. That doesn't mean it's comfortable,enjoyable, and that I haven't complained. However rather than trying to race ahead or manipulate whatever season I am in, I've allowed myself to BE in the chapter and grow from the lessons I've been presented with.

Real Life Examples

I look at my first year as an entrepreneur. I really have no clue what I'm doing most of the time so you know what I do?  I go find those that do and learn from them. I'm being mentored by some of the best in the biz and step by step I'm learning so that I can be successful and get the message to the masses. Rather than spending my time complaining about being broke or trying to get to the next level and bypass some steps, I'm learning the power of broke and how to be much more resourceful.  Anyone who owns a successful business isn't going to spend money foolishly because you understand just how precious cash flow is! This will definitely be a marriage selling point!

Yeah and that has been a major area of surrender in my life. Instead of becoming anxious and angry about this point in my life, I've embraced it. I've stopped the “Why God Why” and “When God when” moaning and complaining because I am aware of what exactly is at stake here and how prepared I must be for my assignment.

Not only that when I really was honest about it, a lot of not wanting to be single anymore had to do with public perception. I wanted people to know they there was nothing wrong with me and I wanted to prove I wasn't rejected. However in the last year I have learned that I am enough and because of that, I don't need to prove myself to anybody! I don't need a relationship to prove that I'm worthy. I am enough as is! Because of this aha moment, I no longer am PRESSED about a relationship. It will happen when it's supposed to.

Live From the Wilderness in 2014 and Surrender

I think what also has confirmed my belief in surrender is seeing that  God is faithful. Without revealing too much, I will say this: 2.5 years ago I had a meltdown in a Polynesian restaurant. I knew I was wrong too and that was the incident that led me to the wilderness of January 2014. Remember how I carried on about the spies and all that (You can read about it on the blog under Live From the Wilderness Jan 2014).

It uncovered my anger, my bitterness, and my selfish ambition. It was a mess. I said a whole bunch of terrible and mean spirited things that evening and soon after I was convicted about what I said.

I remember the inner voice that I believe to be the Holy Spirit saying to me: “instead of envying, you should be praying. Pray to stand through the storm.”

So I did and while I was eventually proven right in what I said and what I believed to be the truth all along, all I could think of is: God is faithful and his ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We are so focused on how things look from the outside and we fight for that and we want it not knowing it is all smoke and mirrors.  

I don't think I would have learned my lesson had I not surrendered to the growth that took place after that incident. I would have just been happy to be right. I wouldn't have learned the valuable lesson about selfish ambition or become aware of my anger and bitterness.

With that said, I will surrender and allow God to take the wheel. I will do my part and put in the work but trying to fight against and force things to happen will just lead to frustration and despair as Eckhart Tolle says in the book. Mainly because much of what we are fighting are outside appearances and circumstances instead of the truth of what actually is.

Writing the Story....

I think chronicling my journey has also helped me to surrender because I look at it as a story. So many pieces don't make sense but how the story is unfolding is pretty cool. It really forces me to stay in the now and report and reflect on it without trying to jump ahead. If I do that, then I will miss on some crucial detail that is integral to the story.

I will not deny seeing amazing it is to see some of the puzzle pieces come together.  This will not happen if you don’t surrender and allow it to come together.