Spring 2016: A-ha Moment #22: Surrender is not resignation

For years I didn't want to surrender because I felt it was resigning myself to a life of misery. I never wanted to live a give up life or a life I settled for. I didn't want the get by option and live a life where I was bitter and unfulfilled by my bad choices so that's why I didn't want to surrender in the now because I thought that is what I would be doing.

If there's anything I've learned from studying and being around people who are successful, then it's that things left quite often. What separates the successful from the unsuccessful is understanding surrender and using it to take positive action to move forward.

Eckhart Tolle uses this example:

If you were stuck in the mud somewhere, you wouldn't say: “Okay, I resign myself to being stuck in the mud.”

Some people Would focus on how they got in the mud in the first place and spend their time blaming others for how they got into the mud into the first place. They would never get out because all their energy is focused on blaming someone else for being stuck in the mud.

Other people  would spend their time throwing a pity party about how they always get stuck in the mud and feeling sorry for themselves because here they are stuck in the mud yet again. maybe they should stop doing what lands them in the mud in the first place...but ya know.

Then there are those who would say I'm stuck and wait for someone to come and rescue them. They would not even try to get themselves out of the mud because they are hoping and praying for someone else to come get them rather than putting some faith behind their footwork.

Surrendering is saying I see that I am stuck here in the mud, this is a fact. I can acknowledge how I got here and begin to take positive action to get myself out. I can formulate a plan and work to get myself out. It will be a process but I can do it if I can do it and don't give up.

Surrendering is also not lying to yourself and saying how great it is that you're stuck in the mud and planning to throw a party there.

It's saying This is what is and I'm not going to resist it.

As Eckhart Tolle says,

Surrender is purely an inner phenomenon. It does not mean that on the outer level you cannot take action and change the situation.

In my own journey, I have learned that When you surrender you're able to take more effective action because it's done from a place of acceptance rather than at a place of desperation and frustration which we all know usually leads to disaster.

Real Life Application...

At this point in my life I am dealing with a slowed metabolism due to restrictive dieting and excessive exercising. I have an extra 20 pounds that won't go away no matter how much I want them to. I eat less my weight goes up, I eat more my weight stays the same. It's a hormonal issue and from what I've read it can take some people 2-3 years to reach a place of stability

Now inner resistance to this issue would look like this: I can't be 20 pounds over where I am comfortable! I have to go on a plan! I have to post about it on Facebook for accountability and for people to know that I'm not a loser who has gained weight.

I've accepted that this is what the situation is in the now and I'm taking positive actions to deal with the situation:  Eating real food,backing off excessive exercise, and getting enough movement on a daily basis, and continuing my Research to understand hormones and metabolism.

The point is that I have accepted what is, I have surrendered on the inside. I know that I am enough and his knowledge combined with what I have learned from a physical standpoint is why I have not jumped on any unsafe or crash dieting exercise programs as I Would have in the past. I'm also not resigning myself to stay in the mud and then eat like garbage, quit exercise and stop living  a healthy lifestyle.

No Excitement....

I’ve also surrendered to the non excitement factor for right now.  I like to be excited and worked up (in a good way) but now is not the time for that.  Now is the time to work consistently and diligently to make progress towards my goals.  Ingrid gave me that word at Shiloh Church last year about the distractions being cut and what I called excitement is really just a distraction.  No more.  Time to focus and put in the work to be where I want to be.