P31OBS The Husband Project Week 1: What I learned: I have a Bad attitude and....

Before we begin, let us notice that this week's scripture says: Let us SPUR ONE ANOTHER towards good deeds.

In Jeff Olson’s book the slight edge he says:

the right philosophy → the right attitude → the right actions

Your attitude is the thing that translates your abstract understanding (philosophy) into your concrete actions.

I learned one big thing this week. My attitude SUCKS. I think my philosophy is coming along but my attitude is terrible. When I think about the above scripture, all I could think was: Well I want to see how much the other person is going to do good deeds and love first before i do it. That's not what the scripture says. I like the NLT version

 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works

One person doing good deeds is MOTIVATING and that will produce a ripple effect although our aim should not be to get something in return which is what my attitude is.

I Got a Bad Attitude

As I read through one of the projects, I rolled my eyes and thought: “Lame!” It was at that moment I realized my attitude completely sucks. The reason I thought this was lame was because I haven't seen people do these things for each other. Also in my worldview doing all these nice things for someone will only lead to disappointment because they will think that you're a doormat and take advantage of you.

My attitude is self preservation because I'm terrified of my life ending up in failure because I've trusted the wrong people or put my life in the wrong hands. It literally terrifies me.

So when I read do all these sweet things the first thing I think is: Yeah right. What's the point? What's the end game for me on this one?

Also in my 30 something years nobody has ever done any of these sweet things for me so by this point I've become more cynical and just don't even believe the hype anymore.

Why put forth all that energy on these projects when it's not gonna happen for you and you're only going to get screwed.

My attitude sucks

The good news is that I'm not a complete lost cause. In the slight edge, Jeff Olson

says:

You can greatly improve your control over your attitude by a genuine commitment to personal development …

So things can change and the first step to change is: Awareness

I'm aware that my attitude sucks and so I will continue to Do personal development in order to help me Change my attitude.

I ain't got no RESPEK

I already know that I have a respect problem when it comes to men. I don't respect

Most men. I didn't grow up seeing great men who I would want my husband or to father my children so I had that philosophy of what is the point? Men are useless. You can't rely on Them and if you want to get anything done you need to do it yourself.

I will say that over the past 7 years my image of men has changed. Whether it was at church or in my business group I have met men who are mission minded, purpose driven, understand their calling, and they are married to women who are successful and have their own call. They are supportive and many work together. It's changed my perspective for sure.

So there are men that I would put some RESPEK on their name and change my last name to theirs but I am aware that I look like Birdman here when it comes to most men..

It is hard not to give in to the male bashing on social media, amongst our friends, or even because of our own poor choices. I just have to keep in mind that doesn't have to be my story and not to let bitterness and cynicism get the best of me.

Awareness is the first step to change! Grateful for this time of conviction and reflection!