Proverbs 31 OBS: The Husband Project: Pregame Show Marriage isn't to Make You Happy

We just want to see you happy

As a single woman I got so sick of people telling me that.  Now granted, these were people who didn't know me very well but still....I don't like that phraseology and let me tell you why.  It's really saying that I cannot be happy without a relationship and that a relationship is the missing piece into what will make me happy.

I am not enough on my own.  I need to get into a relationship or marriage in order to be happy.

This could not be further from the truth and is a large part into why relationships fail.  As Eckhart Tolle has said, Relationships are not meant to offer us salvation.  It's not about hooking up with someone else to forget our own lives and focus on being apart of this relationship which will ultimately be doomed because I'm looking for happiness and salvation in another.

Lest we not forget this Major Truth Bomb from Eckhart Tolle on this subject

Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may have noticed they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled.

If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.

But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, the relationship will offer you salvation and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world.

For those that hold on to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion and madness.

That just needs to marinate and sink in for a moment.  

As I said I am super excited about doing the Husband Project with the Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study crew.  I am unashamed to admit that I don't know anything about being a good wife.  

I firmly believe that you have to BE what you want in order to ATTRACT what you want.  If i say I want a husband who knows God, serves Him, believes in Impact, has a strong work ethic,  understands mission and calling then I need to BE those things.  If I want someone committed to personal development and growth then I need to BE committed to personal development and growth.

What I am not looking for

Knowing what we want is of the utmost importance.  We must get CLARITY on what it is that we want. However I think sometimes we need to be clear with ourselves and what others about what we DON'T want.

I am not looking for:

• Someone to take care of Me
• Someone to Rescue me from my own existence
• Someone to make me look good
• Someone to make me Happy

That's not what I'm looking for and I honestly think a lot of us single people need to be firm with those in our lives who imply that's what we should be doing.  You cannot listen to most people if you don't want to end up like most people.  

Most have settled for the get by option and are now living in a state of Misery thinking coulda, shoulda, woulda.  Mediocrity is comfortable.  It's settling.  It's knowing you didn't risk it and go for the best option.

The truth is anything worth doing is worth doing slowly,consistently, and with purpose. I see no purpose in going out to date a bunch of people that I'm not really interested in because it makes me look less pathetic.  That's another thing.  A lot of singles feel pressure to date a lot of people because they think it will make them look less pathetic and more desirable.   I disagree. I just think it makes people more disillusioned, negative, and cynical.  They aren't even FIRED UP or ALL IN about these people and vice versa.

Sorry but that is a waste of my time. That is time I could be using to build my business and on personal development.

When I talk to most people who have been in productive, fruitful, and marriages that they don't want to leave (even after 10 years) they said they were busy doing something that they were interested in and all of a sudden here was this opportunity.  They set the intention for getting married and went about their lives.  Finding a husband or wife did not become their lives.  (The people that went that route usually had buyer's remorse)

My belief system is that you are intentional, go after that intention, and then let it come to you.   I have seen this principle work over and over again in my life.  

What about the other person?

This immature view that marriage is all about making you happy COMPLETELY disregards your partner.  What about them?  It's not supposed to be all about you!  The second the story stops being PR worthy then people are out.  The second it's not all about making you happy anymore, then it's time to bounce!  What if it all falls down and you no longer have the titles, the this, that, or the other that made you so happy?  What then??  You're done??  

See this idea that this is supposed to make me happy is all selfish ambition.  The Bible says:  Where there is selfish ambition, there is evil doing of every kind.  

Your agenda cannot be all about YOU!  It needs to be about helping others.  Unless you're helping others, then you're wasting your time! We do this with our friends.  We don't like to hang out with people who are all about their selfish gain (at least I hope not). Good friends help you grow and broaden your perspective. I don't see this why this shouldn't apply to marriage as well.

It's the Jumpoff!

This is the jumpoff period for me in many respects and I want to get my views out there...LOUD AND PROUD...cause that's who I am.  It's all on purpose and for a purpose.  

The story is unfolding.  Glad you've decided to step onboard.  I'm telling you my testimony so that you might believe.  Amen?  Amen.

To God be the Glory