Church Refugees: We don't have to have all the answers...and organic community

We don't have to have all of the answers

The church I grew up in had all of the answers. They knew EVERYTHING about God.  They even knew how to conduct the perfect worship service and anybody else who did not do this was going to Hell.

Because of their all knowing attitude , there was little mystery and little room for God to work.  As a matter of fact, I am convinced that the only reason we showed up every Sunday was to get our attendance points for being right.  

I firmly believe if you know it all, then you have very little use for God.  Why do you need a supernatural touch when you know everything?

What is wrong with admitting that we don't have all of the answers? What is wrong with saying that we don't know but let's talk about it.  We may not come to a conclusion but we should at least talk about it.

One of the people interviewed in church refugees, Liam said:

“You know,  we actually don't know, we don't have all the answers, and we don't have to. But I still come at these questions from a Christian tradition. I don't know everything, and I'm OK with that.”

Another respondent Ethan, said;

“There much more mystery to God than we allow there to be or allow people to believe.”

Many Christian people just want to stay in their bubbles so they don't have don't have to question their faith. To me that's not real faith. The way I grew up you weren't supposed to ask questions. Someone once told me reading books was bad because it caused you to not believe what you were taught.

*Deep Sigh* What a way to miss out on life...

I knew that I didn't want the same dead faith that was before me so I kept questioning , seeking the Lord, and he has shown himself to be so faithful. I don't have all the answers but I have a relationship with God and I am willing to move forward as he guides me.

I honestly believe if I did not question and embark on an intentional spiritual journey that I would have ended up as an agnostic because what I experienced with religion growing up was so toxic and so not of God that I was turned off altogether.

Acting as missionaries

I went to a University with Christian values and principles. Well my senior year I was in a communications ethics class and our professor asked:

Is evangelism ethical?

The majority of the class (myself included) all said no.

Most of the people in the class were believers in the Christian tradition but the majority of people said evangelism wasn't ethical.

Most people said it's evangelism involves telling people that hey are wrong or trying to manipulate them into believing what you tell them. Some said that evangelism was pretending to be close to people or want to get to know them just to tell them what you believe and try to change their way of thinking.  One guy in my class got all upset about how he went to volunteer at a mission for homeless people and they would not feed the people until they listened to the sermon.  He argued back and forth with the people at the mission that Jesus met people’s needs and then healed them.  They disagreed and he was asked not to come back...so he was dead set against evangelism.

People in church refugees took this same stance. Many did not agree with their church instructions to  forge relationships with people in order to invite people to church. They remarked that It all seems fake and forced.

I never really invited anyone to church because I was so embarrassed about the teachings. Years later I read on a message board where someone confessed why they finally left.

We were attending a church with our children we would never bring a friend too.

Exactly.

Sad to say that mindset about inviting people to church never left me...even when I liked the church I went to. I never felt comfortable bringing anyone to church. I didn't want people to hear they were going to Hell or be bashed  l if they thought something different or had a different belief system. This is what would happen to visitors at my church growing up.

I will never forget once the preacher said from the pulpit: The Catholic Church is wrong and anybody who is Catholic is going to Hell. A gentleman had brought his girlfriend to church who was...Catholic. For the record, Catholics and Baptists were always getting slammed.

I wouldn't want people to think I thought like that.

Bottom line:  This is no way to form an organic community that is authentic and honest.  I do not feel that I can have that in church.  I feel that I will have to put a mask on what I really believe and who I really am and I’m unwilling to do that.