Spring 2016 The Power of Now: Enlightened Relationships - Relationships as spiritual practice

I grew up religious. We weren't spiritual because we were not in touch with our spirits.  We were religious people who focused on church going, appearances, and rules.  Therefore marriage wasn’t spoken of as a true spiritual union.  Yeah they said it was when two become one flesh but we did not learn what that meant..You got married because that's what you're supposed to do especially if you wanted to have sex.  Those were the rules.

A Deeper Purpose

It wasn't until I became an adult and started to study spirituality that I learned that the marriage relationship was supposed to have deeper purpose. Marriage wasn't supposed to be about not being alone or being fulfilled for your own selfish ambition.

With that being said Eckhart Tolle talks about communication as communion. One of my favorite books on love is Communion by bell hooks where she discussed the female search for love. Communion discusses some of the taboo subjects that women are afraid to voice about love such as not losing themselves in the relationship and wanting love instead of just finding a man.

I am always astounded by the relationship advice given in our society and the experts we are listening to. People who we would not want to trade places with and are not successful themselves! Yet we listen to their advice because we have come to see relationships as painful acts of torture that we must engage in.  Their bad advice keeps the party going!

Just say No to Selfish Ambition

Eckhart Tolle says:

Most relationships are not rooted in Being and so turn into to a source of pain and become dominated by problems and conflicts.

He goes on to discuss how people go from one relationship to another, from one pleasure and pain cycle to another looking for fulfillment or people who stay In dysfunctional relationships full of negativity for their own reasons whether they are afraid of being alone or because they need the security.  

This is the landscape of the relationships which we find ourselves in  if we are not spiritually aware.

I think that once you understand that relationships are not all about you then it becomes a different game. I just never understand people who get married for their own selfish reasons and then are SHOCKED when the other person grows tired of it and begins to rebel.

I think that relationships should be a spiritual practice. They should help you grow and I think two souls coming together is a spiritual practice. Tolle says that when these issues arise then that's your chance at salvation and personal growth.

The Truth Bomb

Below is the truth that I've learned these past two years as I've sought to get my mind right. Dysfunctional relationships are the norm these days. We are excited and shocked when we see productive and flourishing relationships because it is so rare.  We are used to dysfunction and negativity.

The truth bomb from Eckhart Tolle

Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may have noticed they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled.
If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.

But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, the relationship will offer you salvation and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world.

For those that hold on to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion and madness.

This is the truth I have learned in the past two years. Starting with the meltdown at a Polynesian restaurant in January of 2014 I began to learn and understand  this truth. Selfish ambition and salvation through a relationship will NOT happen and will ultimately lead to destruction