Shame.

Many of us have it.  Many of us were raised on it.  It’s why we don’t Dare Greatly because we have shame or we are afraid of being shamed by critics.

Growing up in the Church of Legalism you learn that you are not good enough and will never be good enough.  You have to try to earn your way your to heaven but you will fail miserably because you're trying to do it all on your own. It wasn't until I learned about God's Grace that I was able to have faith.  I realized that God's love didn't depend on my performance  but because God is good and faithful.

Legalism teaches SHAME.  You're never good enough and deserve all the suffering that you have in your life.
We are afraid of vulnerability and to show up and be seen because of shame.  We don’t feel we are good enough and we don’t want people to see us because we are afraid of the critics.

As the tagline of the book says quoting from Teddy Roosevelt, “It’s not the critic who counts”.
Spot on.
The majority of the people who I knew to be big critics are still sitting on their behinds criticizing everybody and everything while their lives have resulted in failure.
This book has so much powerful truth in it that it is ridiculous.  I think her research on Men and Shame was particularly eye opening and something that I needed to read.  If you have any men in your life, then you should read this book because you learn about why men are behaving the way they are and much of it is due to shame.

Never Enough

Legalism is all about keeping up appearances and talking about all of your outward checkmarks and it is NEVER ENOUGH.  "I went to church, Bible Study, etc.  so God may love me and bless me now." 
 It doesn't matter if you're falling apart on the inside because all that matters is outer appearance but still you feel it is never enough.

This is what I always have seen with the Fitness Industry.  It’s never enough.  If I lost 10 pounds, then how come I didn’t lose 20 pounds?  If I wear a size 6, then how come I’m not a size 2?
It’s NEVER ENOUGH and because it’s never enough then I am not ENOUGH.
It’s not just about fitness.  It’s about EVERYTHING!  It’s never enough and I see this all the time with women and it’s the basis of many of our problems.
I call it the trying to earn your way into heaven syndrome.  If we have made mistakes in the past, then we spend the rest of our life trying to earn our way into heaven and no matter what we do it’s never enough to make up for our past mistakes.  We never give ourselves any grace  because we don’t feel we deserve it.  We believe we are unworthy of pleasure, joy, and that we must work harder to EARN it.
We think that if we torture ourselves to death, we will finally make it to the promised land. Sadly, that does not work.  It never has and it never will.

It’s a Must Read

Anyway as I am sure you can tell this book made me very uncomfortable and was very convicting.  I think this book is a MUST READ for everyone:  Men and Women.
Personal Development is the missing link between where we are and where we want to be.
Like the Power of Now, Daring Greatly is one of those books that I am going to read every year because there is so much truth to absorb and the courage to show up and dare greatly is a journey not a destination.