P31OBS Uninvited Week 3: Slamming the Door Shut

"Lord please Irrevocably close any doors that should not be opened"

That was the prayer that I had learned from a client of mine and that I had started praying.  At first I thought, "Well I don't want to pray that!  What if he closes a door on something that I really want!"

Duh that's the point!

But I remember one specific day when I prayed that prayer and I believe that is exactly what happened.  The door slammed shut for good and I am grateful.  What I THOUGHT I wanted was NOT God's best for me.  I see that now.  I was fortunate enough to see enough glimpses that showed me that I was shortchanging myself BIG TIME.  While I was clamoring for Arby's...God was like "Hold up...I got Ruth Chris' or House of Prime Rib" on deck.  Just be patient.

Changing perspectives on Rejection.

As women we are taught to internalize rejection.  We think it's because we're not enough.  We aren't pretty enough, not good enough, not thin enough, not quiet enough, just not enough. 

Psalms 27:1 is what we should tell ourselves when this mess comes into our heads.  The LORD is our light and our salvation!  Not people, outside accomplishments, status, material items, or any of that.

We limit ourselves and go through life fearful of rejection and being told we are not enough so we minimize ourselves.  We are afraid to be who we REALLY are for fear of rejection and because others may not like it.   We hold back because we are afraid of what others would think and say.

Live Unashamed

This has been my story for the longest except for brief flashes in the pan. Until the Summer of 2015, I thought that all of the "rejections" I faced was because something was wrong with me.  I didn't have the internal messaging poured into me at a young age that I was enough and that I was worthy.  It always felt like I just wasn't good enough. 

That's the fruit of legalism...Nobody is ever good enough unless they fit into some tiny box of what's acceptable and much of that is keeping up appearances.

After reading Christine Caine's book Unashamed this past summer, she makes a point to discuss how the messages we're giving as children has a lot to do with our feelings of shame and unworthiness.  Now much of the time we are not reaffirmed by our parents is because they are living in shame and don't know their own worth.  

I am thankful to say that I have made this a point to get this right because when and if I am blessed with little people, I am going to make sure that they know they are loved, they are enough, and who they have been created to be by God is quite all right.  

I want to Live Unashamed.

I want the man I may marry one day to Live Unashamed.

I want my children to Live Unashamed.

I want our Unashamed Lives and story to be used for the glory of God.

It's not rejection...it's an act of mercy!

As i have gone along on This Sacred Journey, what I thought was rejection was actually an act of mercy!  My life would have been in shambles had I gone my own way.  The Lord is merciful!  He is with us and shall not fail.

The Lord knows best and there is more to the story.

If I have learned anything in 2016, it is that the Lord Knows Best.  We think we have all the answers but we don't.  We don't know what God has planned.  His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and his ways are higher than our ways.  He has eternal vision.  We have what's good right now vision.  Frankly after this past Spring when I once again was shocked at how God operates I just thought:

"Wow.  Just wow.  I mean we listen to other people, allow them to work us up into a tizzy, we think we've got it all figured out, and God just...he's doing something."  

The Bible Study this week asked us to ask God why he closed a door.  I can safely say that he's already done that for me as I have explained above.  It just reaffirms my belief that we should put our trust in God and not in our hormones, what we think to be true, and what other people tell us.  

I am firmly committed to the mindset that what God has planned is much better than anything that I could come up with and will be for his ultimate Glory.

There is so much more to my story and once again I ask God to "Irrevocably Close Doors that should not be opened."  

The doors he opens are so much more beautiful and glorious than the ones he shuts!