P31 Online Bible Study Uninvited: Week 2 Unpacking Rejection

As I started this Bible Study, I thought about the "rejection" i've faced in my life and they've always added up to ONE clear message:  You are not enough.  You are not good enough and who you are is not enough.

Thankfully in the last several years I've come to terms with this lie and I've really started to unpack this message called rejection.  I really really like what is said about rejection in this study.

Rejection isn't just about feeling bad.

It's the message that we get that whoever we are not enough.

It's the message that we get that other people don't think we are good enough so therefore we are not enough.

Even worse it's the message that God doesn't think we are good enough either so he punishes us and we decide not to trust him because He is out to get us.

Rejection has us believing all sorts of lies.

We believe are not enough

When I was younger I did not fit in with certain areas of my life.  Now that I am older I can certainly see why and I am thankful for it but I always felt that something was wrong with me.  When I got older and could be around people who I had more in common with, I realized there wasn't something wrong with me so much as my environment wasn't the right fit for me. 

Consequently I believed I was not enough.  I always felt like I had to do more, be better, and work harder so people would accept me.  I know now that I do not need to fix myself or work to prove myself worthy to anyone.  I am enough as it is.

We believe Other people don't think we are good enough and will reject us

One of the reasons I want to do this study is because I want to attack rejection head on because I want to be able to take down my walls that I have built over the year due to rejection.  I constantly have felt that I was not good enough and so I have these walls built up around me.

As we saw during the Husband Project Study, I was even not on board with doing those nice things because I was so worried about what would happen if I did all these nice things only to get rejected in the end.  I didn't want to put in all of that time and effort only to get rejected, used, and abandoned.  I knew that this was a jacked up attitude and needed to change.

After the past 2 years, I've stopped thinking that I am not good enough so I should lowball my expectations.  As I have shared, the lovely chocolate glimpse from 2015 proved to me that I really was underestimating my self worth and wasting my talents.  

If I can be completely candid here, then I will admit that I always settled.  I always figured that I would not do any better so rather than risk rejection from top shelf talent I would settle for less.  At least then there was a lower chance of rejection.  Yet I am still single so....I decided that I may as well go for what I really want and desire rather than settling.

Hence why I've been DELIVERT and not turned on.

So many women are believing the lie that they need to fix themselves so they can be good enough for someone to love.  As I covered in my previous 2 rants, much of that is to fit their business model in order for you to buy something.

BTW A magazine editor basically admitted that her job was to raise the anxiety level of her readers so they will buy products....so there you go.

We Believe God doesn't think we are good enough either so he is punishing us.

I grew up in a legalistic belief system.  I knew nothing of the faithfulness of God and the love of God because that's not what we were taught.  We were taught condemnation, religious traditions and rules, and that God was out to get someone.  I have heard people say that they prayed for God to deliver their children from certain lifestyles and God answered them by killing their child. 

I truly believe Legalism is spiritual abuse.  People who have been hurt, have low self worth, are overwhelmed by guilt, and think they need to be punished tend to flock to legalistic churches.  They want rules and such to make sure that they stay on the straight and narrow and they're comfortable with the idea that God is some sort of punishing maniac who is out to get them.  

Once I learned better and learned truth, I had to get out of this mindset.  God is not punishing me because he doesn't think I am not good enough.

God has our best interest at heart because the endgame is for his name to be glorified.  Now what trips all of us up is that the way he goes about it does NOT match up with what we thought or planned.  

I loved this quote from C.S. Lewis that Lysa cited in Week 1

“We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.

God's ways are not our ways.  We just have to keep in mind that he is with us and he shall not fail.  If you asked me five years ago where I would be now, then it wouldn't be here but I know and believe with all of my heart that it's the right way because I did not settle for less or try to manipulate things to the way I think they should go.

I cling to the promise that I will see God's glory if I believe.

This is our First Week and I already have so much to hang on to and share.  I no longer want to internalize rejection and have it be the fuel for my fire and the building blocks of the walls I have created around my life.

I want to face it and overcome it!

To God be the Glory.