P31 OBS Uninvited Week 2: Grabbing or Grasping

In Chapter 4 of Uninvited, Lysa writes:

"At the core of who we are, we crave the acceptance that comes from being loved. To satisfy this longing we will either be 'graspers' of God's love or 'grabbers' for people's love."

I am not one who grabs at the love of other people.  As a matter of fact I tend to turn away from other people's "love".  I put "love" in quotes because when you're not loved enough or in a nurturing ways, you feel like you're better off without people and their versions of love.

I don't understand saying hurtful things to someone one minute and then the next minute saying "I love you" and then wondering why affection is not being returned.  It really baffles the mind. However I can say that I have become repelled away from people's "love".  

I honestly don't believe that most folks have your best interest at heart but rather their own selfish ambitions. I recognize that my perspective is clouded because I thought like this for many years and I'm still trying to get over it but my core belief system is: self preservation.  

I know it's wrong but it is true.  It's my defense mechanism when it comes to rejection.  I feel like if I make my survival the #1 priority I will have less of a chance of getting hurt or being ruined.t's one of the things that I know needs to change.  I acknowledge it and I'm willing to go through the process of change.

What I do grasp at...

I don't grasp at people's love but I grasp at credibility, proving that I am worth it, and that I am enough.  That failed fitness competition 2 years ago was because I wanted to prove that I was worthy and that I was enough.  I grasp at those things because of rejection.  I want to make sure that people know that I am worth it and that I am enough.

While I may not find myself chasing grasping at relationships, I do tend to grasp at the approval and acceptance of people to know that I am enough. It's getting so much better since my major epiphany of the past two years that I am enough.

Even better God is enough. I don't need money, titles, status, or trophies to prove that I am enough.  I am fulfilled enough because of God who is with me and will not fail.  That makes a big difference because you realize it's not about you but about HIM.  It also sheds a different light on "rejection" because you don't see it as "rejection" but an act of mercy.  I shudder to think of what could have happened if I had gone down certain roads. 

I certainly wouldn't be doing what I am supposed to be doing and I would have been chasing meaningless stuff of life.  The wisest man who ever lived Solomon said this:

 Ecclesiastes 1:14I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

It's true.  People tend to suffer from depression after a major event such as winning a competition, going to the Olympics, getting married, or having a baby because it doesn't cure what ails them like they thought it would.  If you're not fulfilled before you have these things, then you won't be after having them.

That's why I get so angry at people in the fitness industry who lie to desperate consumers and try to make it seem as if they only lost weight, then their lives would be better and more fulfilling.  Nope it's not true.  If people are not fulfilled before losing weight, then they will not be fulfilled after losing weight and not only that they will find some way to sabotage their progress.

Along the same lines are those that market to Single Christian women that if they just get married, then all of their problems will be solved.  It's not true.  If people are looking to marriage in order to fulfill their lives and fill their emptiness, then they will be sadly disappointed because people cannot do that.  Only God can.

It's all a scam and a hustle.

Let's not fall for it!