Proverbs 31 OBS Why Her? Week 5 - Her Gain is not My Loss

Her Gain is not my Loss

Woooo...This one is a mouthful right here.

This truth hits right on my scarcity mentality.  With a scarcity mindset you think when someone gets a promotion, then that means you have lost.

This is a big problem for me as a single woman.  When I hear that someone has gotten married, I feel like it's one less prospect for me even if the groom is nowhere near my type!  Scarcity mindset all the way around.

Learning to have an abundance mindset is challenging when scarcity is your default mode.  You have to remind yourself that there is enough.

As Nicki writes in the book there are PLENTY of God Given Assignments to go around!  We don't need to compare ourselves to someone else who may already be doing what we believe we are called to do.

When we have scarcity mindset we think, "Oh.  She's already doing that.  I guess that means my shot is over." OR we think, "Wow. I could do x,y,z 100x better than this.  I should be doing x,y,z instead of her

I'm more guilty of thinking the latter statement.  

We don't need to compare and compete.  There is enough to go around and besides she may be able to reach certain people doing x,y,z that you cannot reach.  Everyone is not for everybody.

Striving and Success as idols

"The desire to succeed, of course, is a great goal.  In fact, I don't see anywhere in the Bible that doesn't encourage us to work toward success.  But we need to be careful that all our striving doesn't
1) Mask our insecurity in success
2) Lead us away from thriving in the season we're currently living." - Nicki K, Why Her?
I've said on this blog and I'm learning more and more how much of an idol success is to me.  I'm a striver.  I want to be successful and have financial security because I look at that as my security when I know that is not true.  I've seen people who are executives who have cushy C-Suite Jobs be told on Friday that their services are no longer needed and they haven't been able to find steady work with as good a compensation plan since being let go.

You can't serve both God and Money

So even though I know intellectually that success and financial security are fickle, I still look to them as idols. I  think, "If I just had more money and I was successful, then everything would be okay"

I really believe this is why this year I've been challenged in this area.  As much as I like to hold on to money and I'm so afraid of letting it go I've had several incidents where that's been targeted.  What am I going to do?  Stop giving and being generous because I'm afraid that will be it or will I say, "God will provide and I am going to be all right."

I can't serve both God and Money.
I have to choose one
I am choosing God
One of the values I wanted to strengthen this year was Generosity and I wanted to be INTENTIONAL about giving

Thriving in the season we are in



Someone shared a quote with Nicki that really resonated with me.  "Don't wish the season away".  

Oh how I've been there.  I wanted to be in any season except the one I was currently in but looking back all of those seasons were necessary.  The seasons of extreme financial hardship where I really don't know how I managed and why I didn't give up.  The seasons where I was wandering in the wilderness and not sure of what I was doing but somehow the right people started showing up.  

All of those seasons were meant to teach me something and get me over the hump of, "I can't". 

Even now in this current season where I'm growing and I feel more positive than I ever have with Fresh Vision, this temptation to scream "HOW MUCH LONGER? SOMETHING EXCITING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN RIGHT?"  is still there.

But I know that I must appreciate all of these moments because they are all apart of the message.

Her Gain is not my Loss

I know I keep going back to this same story of my biggest lesson on comparison but that experience taught me so much.  Perhaps what you think is a gain would actually be a loss for you.  It would not be the right thing for your life and could  lead to ruin.

I believe that God knows best.  He knows what we need and what we don't need.  He knows what would be best for our lives even if it doesn't look like we imagined.

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