The Power of Now Spring 2016: Aha Moment #4 I don't know but the story is not over

There’s a situation in my life that I have tried to put to bed for the past several years but I cannot. It will go away for a while and then continue to visit me.  A relative even mentioned it out of the blue two weeks ago and I went silent even after she repeated it twice because I don’t like to be reminded of it.

As spring goes on, my thoughts keep getting louder and something triggered me to engage the conversation.

I do not feel the door and closed. There is something within me and my unconscious that is saying: This story is not complete. Continue to trust and wait on God’s timing. Do not settle. Whatever you do...do not settle for less than the vision that God has given you. You saw it and it will happen.

Many years ago I declared a vision and now it all but seems dead. But I serve the God of resurrection. The Lord has said that the first step of this process would be resurrection,

Resurrection

Restoration

Redemption

I declare it

God establishes it

Light comes

At this point this is all but dead in the water and yet  I continue to ask myself, “Why won’t you let this go? Why does this continue to gnaw at you?  What does this have to do with your now?

The answer is: I don’t know

I just finished 40 days in the Prayer Circle where I circled one promise in particular that could be related to why this is coming up. Perhaps That promise are being answered now which is why it’s lodged itself firmly in my spirit. It’s the only conceivable thing I can come up with. 

 I’ve adopted the core belief that whatever is supposed to happen will happen at its moment in its appointed NOW.  This has given me great peace and alleviated my anxiety of the future. I have chosen to acknowledge this but not try to reason and think it to death. I don’t know and rather than miss out on life trying to figure it out...I’ve adopted  a wait and see attitude.

When you just can't leave well enough alone

Something stirred within me to look into the matter further and I went with it simply because I've said when stirred I'll go for it. The inquiry produced Shock, disbelief, and horror. I immediately began to pray over the situation but I was pretty shocked.

In this moment as I digest my discovery, I've had some “come to Jesus”  moments. When I ended up in the wilderness in 2014, it was all because I was angry because someone else had what I wanted and had wanted for a very long time. I was angry because I felt I had missed out, I had lost my only chance, and I thought that I had been misled by what I thought were clear gut signals. Turns out I wasn't all the way wrong.

My come to Jesus moments let me know that we should never mistrust our gut and that if we truly believe in the now, then we must accept and surrender to the process instead of resisting it. Acceptance and surrender will speed up the process and provide the wisdom and clarity to attain and sustain what we feel we are called to. I also gave thanks to God that he could truly uncover all of my motives, rid me of my selfish ambition, and get my mind right that I was on mission from him and not satisfy my own selfish desires.

I know this is all very vague and abstract but I need to write it down and post it so that when the truth is revealed at the appointed time I have receipts as the vision begins to comes to pass.

I just believe my gut, intuition, and even how I've been led by the spirit is all on purpose.