Leaving Sundays: Ebony Exodus - Killing the Spirit of the Black Woman, Gays, and Hell

The author says the Black church imposes a number of rules and restrictions on black wines that are oppressive, unnatural, and harmful.

I agree which is why I became so impassioned about women's empowerment. Even simple things like self care are frowned upon as we discussed earlier because it's seen as self indulgent and don't let a woman be attractive. She's just trying to entice all the men.

She talks about the church's attitude about submission. I think the Black church’s definition of submission really means that the women has to diminish herself to make the man feel like the leader.

In Black Churches women are supposed to diminish their shine to make a man feel like a leader. I don't agree with this at all. I think real men will support his wife to be all that she can be.

I like John and Lisa Bevere’s definition of submission. Sub (under) mission. Under the same mission. I believe a healthy relationship where we are under the same mission.

They have a great book called the story of marriage. We didn't have teachings on marriage in church. As the author of the Ebony Exodus states there was lots of talk about wives being submissive and all that jazz but where was the teachings for the men to teach them how to be good husbands?

Women comprise most of these churches but are not the leaders and are told that they need to learn how to submit. The men aren't told that they need to learn how to lead. Simply Having a twig and berries doesn't qualify one to lead.

Homosexuality

This is a big problem with church because a lot of the men in church are gay. It's terrible that they have to hear such horrible things said about being gay when many are gay themselves.

Even worse are the preachers that are gay. I can't help but think they are hoping if they keep preaching somehow they will stop liking men. It's not going to happen. They would be much better off to come out, find a therapist to help them transition into the new chapter of life, and live an honest life. I have to say that this seems to be a bigger problem amongst men in church. Most of the lesbians end up leaving.

It's such an open secret about gay men in church that the Black church really needs to stop with the anti gay crap unless they're willing to kick all the gays out but There won't be anybody to do the singing and play the music in that case.

You're going to hell

As a kid I remember being terrified of judgment day and hell. I live in California in earthquake country and every time there was an earthquake it was a sign of impending doom.

Several women shared that they were terrified of hell growing up.  Stephanie shared her story.

“As a child, that is pretty much the first thing you know of. That's the way your parents brainwash you into accepting God. If you don't accept this god, you're going to go to hell. That alone is extremely damaging for a child's psyche. I always had that fear. I used to fear going to hell so bad that I used to dream about it”

Stephanie was afraid of sinning and going to hell but apparently the leadership of her church wasn't because one of the church members ended up getting pregnant by the pastor.

“I believed that they were going to send me to hell, but to come to church and see people that you looked up to doing all this crap or to read the Bible and for the Bible to tell you one thing and then for the members of your church to do another thing, it was really confusing.”

The church I grew up in said if you didn't go to their church and follow their rules you would go to hell. I remember I didn't really believe it but I was too scared to leave for a few years because what if they were right and what would people think? Finally I decided enough was enough and I wasn't willing to risk dying on the pews for this mess so I left.

They also didn't seem to be afraid of Hell when it came to taking people's money or sleeping with married people.