Spring 2016 The Power of Now Aha Moments: Aha Moment #24 Surrender and Accepting people as they are

If you can never accept what is, by implication you will not be able to accept anybody the way they ARE.  You will judge, crucial, label, reject, or attempt to change people. - Eckhart Tolle

Wow

If that doesn't hit the nail on the head, then I don't know what does.  So many of us are guilty of this. I know I am. Why don't we accept the person for who they actually ARE instead of trying to make them fit our agenda?

This is part of the reason I have such a bad attitude when it comes to relationships period. Instead of surrendering to what is and who I am, I allowed my fears to dictate my choices and then didn't want to accept what actually is.

I am Enough....and it's okay that I want More

Broken down very simply: I didn't think I was enough and I also had guilt for wanting more so I would purposely pick people who represented my fears about myself and then I would judge, criticize, and say: “See! This is all a waste of time!”

In the past two years I have learned that I am enough but I have also learned to surrender to the fact that I want MORE out of life.  I have learned that I don't need to be apologetic or feel guilty about wanting a partner who is a high performer and is excellent. I've surrendered to that and it's okay!  Plus I’ve gotten a chance to actually SEE that in the flesh and there’s no turning back now.

I would encourage many of my sisters to stop listening to friends/family who are trying to

Incite panic by telling you that you need to settle for a get by option because better doesn't exist. (this happens to us a lot as black women)

I would also tell you to surrender and let it go when it comes to people who try to make you feel guilty about  wanting something MORE. Surrender to the fact that you want MORE out of life. This was the source of my 2008 poor choices. I felt like I had went off and seen this great life and then I came back home and felt bad because it was still the same miserable situation I wanted to get away from. I figured it was my destiny that I was going to settle for a craptastic life  too.

The Difference between surrender and resignation

Did you catch that?  What i just said was  resignation. THAT  is the difference between surrender and resignation. Resignation is deciding to give up and make your bed in the pit.. I resigned myself to making poor choices as I had seen my whole life.

After that came the surrender.

I acknowledged that I wasn't anywhere close to where I wanted to be but that glimpse of life hasn't been for naught. I didn't need to continue the generational curses that I had seen my whole life. There could be a new Story written.

So I surrendered. Literally. In 2009 I put my hands up and then came my rebirth spiritually by surrendering to God and developing a relationship with him. I learned about faith and here we are 7 years later!

I would say that now I have no problems with being unapologetic about wanting excellence and high performance in my life because I am also striving to BE that. I also know that I am enough so I feels no guilt or fear about wanting MORE.

I've also stopped learned to stop fantasizing or projecting what I think or my agenda and accept what is. You end up wasting a lot less time that way.