Single Sister in the City: Writing the vision on the tablet

When I thought about sharing my journey as a single woman pursuing a life partnership, I tried to talk myself out of it because I thought it would be embarrassing.  I thought it would make me look like one of those single and desperate people who have one mission and one mission alone:  Finding a husband or a wife.

Single people always know to avoid those folks (especially at church).  Those are the folks who run around to every church function trying to find somebody and pretty soon other single folks who aren't interested learn to avoid them at all costs.

I don't want to come off like that

I do realize however that this is going to be a big part of my testimony and teaching, so I feel led to at least share my journey because I want other single folks to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Reading many of these single blogs (especially ones by Christians) I don't find them too encouraging.  You either get people who are upset they aren't married by 22 or people who have just given up.  The other type I find annoying are the married people who seemed to have forgotten how discouraging being single is.

While I'm out here in the trenches, I want to share my journey.  I want to share the vision God has given me because I don't want there to not one shadow of a doubt that my relationship was divinely ordered.

I believe there's much more of an impact if you chronicle your journey when it isn't making sense vs. revisionist history when you've already connected the dots./

The Vision 

I've been pretty clear that I believe my marriage is one that is to have PURPOSE and IMPACT.  It's meant to help others.   I believe that God is going to use my husband and I in a mighty way to help other people.  

I also believe that I have been called to marriage in order to be a real help-meet to my husband.  I have been called to help someone along their journey.  God has been speaking to my heart on this issue for about 2 years now.  I have it written down when God began to lay on my heart that I wouldn't be in for the fairy tale that I dreamed up.  He isn't going to be Mr. Perfect man but that's all apart of the plan of restoration that God has for his life.

I can honestly say in the past 2 years the inner work that I have been undergoing has been confirmation of this.  I have been convicted of my selfish ambition towards relationships and began to see that it isn't about the superficial or titles, but about meeting a real need.  Just this past few months in the accelerated refiners fire program, I've learned that it's about being present, connected, and considering other people's feelings and stories rather than barging through and implementing my own agenda.

They that wait....

Now I won't lie.  Sometimes I get antsy and discouraged. I keep wondering "WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?  Can I get a GLIMMER of hope?" I keep reminding myself that the vision is bigger than just satisfying my own selfish desires.  I have to be adequately prepared so that I can be FUNCTIONAL in the role that God has called me to.

Active Waiting

I am waiting but I am not passively waiting. I am not actively waiting by throwing myself out into the ring.   I'm actively waiting by seeking God's wisdom and counsel through Bible Study and prayer.  I signed up for a Proverbs 31 Bible study "Living so that" I want to be able to make faith filled choices.  There's going to be lots of noise when it starts to go down and I want to be able to tune out all the noise and clearly hear God's voice. That can only happen when God and I are in an intimate relationship.

Over and over again it has been said to me by other Godly people that: "You aren't going to be able to do anything in your own motivation and strength, but by His Spirit".  

Inspired by Godly couples

Recently on my Facebook timeline a brother paid tribute to his wife on her birthday.  His tribute was based on Proverbs 31 and he was able to point a personal example of his wife's character for each verse. I was soooo inspired. It had nothing to do with any of the superficial crap, but all about his wife's character.  I hope to be that woman one of these days and I hope that my husband will celebrate my character and who I am as his wife and mother to our family.

Another couple that inspires is Heather and Cornelius Lindsey.  They are a young couple called to preach, lead, and pastor and they are living out the vision that I see for my husband and myself.  I don't know that we are called to a church setting but their partnership looks like what I envision for our lives.

These inspirational couples inspire me to keep on keeping on because marrying within God's will is SO worth the wait.  I refuse to give up , settle, and marry outside of God's will.  I refuse to miss out on the calling and purpose that God has for my life.  It simply isn't worth it.

I look forward to sharing more.  It's hard for me to be vulnerable on this topic because it has been so barren and so hurtful for so long, but this is all apart of being used by God.  Being able to be transparent and vulnerable.

To God be The Glory