On Surrendering to Being Powerful

Who you are is always a more vital teaching and more powerful transformer of the world  than what you say and even more essential even then what you do. - Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

As I sit here thinking about how this year is all about me stepping out on Next Level Faith and embracing an unknown future, I am thinking of this mission I am on.

As I sit here knowing there is more month than there is money and not sure of what will happen, I am reminding myself that on the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.

As I sit here knowing I don't have as much control over whether or not I will be able to conceive and carry a child, I am not resistant to it. What will resisting and coming up with worst case scenarios do except plunge me further into the miry pit?

Right now I have a mission to work on my business, study, build my confidence, and walk in my power. That's what I am supposed to do NOW...so rather than worry about something in the future that I think will bring me salvation, I will concentrate on learning these lessons in my current season.

Go Get it Girl

I always say one of the reasons that I walked away from legalistic religion  was because it was not adding up.  People were saying one thing and their lives said something totally different.

I didn't want to be one of those frauds teaching and living a whole other life or teaching a message that didn't represent who I was.  

I can say profound truths, I can stir up people's emotions. I can be entertaining but none of it matters if who I am does not match the message.

This is why I believe I don't need any big platform until I have fruit of why my way of life and philosophies works.

It will do me no good to say Go Get it Girl and do this or that but who I am does not match up with a Go Get it Girl.

Do I have the mindset that says to Go Get it? If I do, then I will have the tangible fruit to prove it. but what people will respond to is that I can teach what I am.

I was the one who said, "I'm Going to Go Get it and let it come to me" and not only did I do it. I am it.

For instance several issues have come up this year over which I had no control and I'm sitting up here looking like: Really? Yes Really. But I've come to the point of surrendering. It's not that I'm saying "I don't care anymore. Whatever."

It's that I've come to the conclusion that it does no good to resist what is. For years I would resist what was and try to make it what I thought it should be. I just ended up angry, frustrated, and anxious. Instead of projecting and trying to make fetch happen, I just say: "Well it is what it is and I surrender that this is what the deal is at this moment and time."

I feel so much better.

I've also stopped trying to fit puzzle pieces together because I think that's how it is going to go. I've been wrong about everything thus far trying to put puzzle pieces together and so I'm saving myself the trouble of trying to figure it all out by just taking it each moment at a time.

On Surrendering to being powerful

I am teaching a course on Emotional Eating and as I was studying the material, author Geneen Roth said something funny. She said that if we were walking in our power we would alienate men. They would call us aggressive, demanding, etc.

I laughed because that did happen to me. A man I was very attracted to told me I was too aggressive. So I know that being powerful can come with consequences: Men you're attracted to may not be attracted to you because of that.

This doesn't mean you shut it down. It means you do re-evaluate where you can do better (be more considerate of others feelings) but you can still shine bright like a diamond which is where I am now.

I thought that something was wrong with me and I needed to be fixed. Now I realize that isn't what I want and who I need in my life. My powerful, demanding, go-get-it-girl attitude may not be for that gentleman but it may be right for whomever I choose to say yes to and that's okay.

I don't need to be fixed. I need to SAY YES to one who wants that in his life and SAY NO to one who doesn't. I think it's why it's easy to let fantasies about people die on the vine.

I am ready to surrender into being powerful.

I believe it's the only way I can have what I TRULY want: A big beautiful life with excitement and adventure.

I think about the words of Sister Leymah Gwobee 2 years ago and I remind myself that this is how I'm supposed to live