Leaving Sundays: Crazy Love - You may not finish this Chapter

Reading a chapter about one’s  mortality may not be the most encouraging thing to do the week of your first surgery ever.

As I've gotten older I've realized more than ever that I want to live a rich life. Not rich with money but rich with purpose, meaning, and of course love.

I don't want to be one of those people who have nothing but regrets for memories.

I don't want to be one of those people who lives her life for other people all the while stewing in bitterness and resentment because she didn't live the life she was called to live.

However

If you decide to live this type of life, then there are some sacrifices one has to make. The mantra I've decided to adopt this year is: "I'm Free Fallin'. Jump in Faith!

I've taken risks in starting my own business  that have left me in a less than an ideal financial situation that many would say is failure but I believe this what I'm supposed to do.

At this moment as I face no income for a few weeks and living off of savings, I know I am doing the right thing. Any other time I would have been freaked out, stressing myself out, or procrastinating but I know that I am doing the right thing at the right time. I have faith that God will provide me with all I need.

I've drawn lines in the sand saying exactly what it is that I want in a life partner and I'm not budging. It's what I want and I'm not willing to compromise because I am unwilling to have my life destroyed because I created an Ishmael marriage and family due to impatience.

I'm also unwilling to destroy someone else's  life as a Jezebel or suck the life out of him as a Delilah would because I am angry that I settled for what I did not want.

I have pledged to SAY NO to settling. If I say, "it's not what I wanted but it is better than nothing". then I need to SAY NO and SAY YES to what I want. What I want is possible.

I believe my calling is specific on the family front is specific and I'm unwilling to give in and settle for someone that I just don't love enough.

With these choices, there is risk involved. I could have egg on my face or face financial ruin.

On the other hand God could also be glorified through my story.

His glory will be displayed through my faith and not giving up.

1 Corinthians 10:31

Well, I’ll tell you why. It is because you must do everything for the glory of God, even your eating and drinking. 

Worry and Stress 

Worry - implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our grip of control.

When I used to try to control everything I was filled with stress and anxiety. I was so arrogant to believe I knew it all and what was best.

I am so glad what I wanted did not happen. It would have been a disaster of epic proportions. I think what God has planned is so much better.

Lose Control 

Ultimately I have just as little control over my own life and what can happen to me. Isn't the easiest thing at this point to start living in a guarded, safe,  controlled way? To stop taking risks and to be ruled by our fears of what could happen?  - page 47

A life like that is one of my biggest fears. I life where I'm so afraid of what COULD happen and making up worst case scenarios that I never actually LIVE.

A life where I constantly settle and don't go for more because I'm afraid.

As Francis Chan says by acknowledging that we don't have all the answers and there is so much that is unknown to us, we reach out to God. We reach out for his guidance and realize that ultimately he has the Control and power. We don't. This made life a lot less anxious and stressful for me.

I used to wonder how all this stuff people had prophesied to me and that I knew that I knew was going to happen and I would try to make it happen with not so great results. Now I watch as God guides everything into place by connecting me with the right people and opportunities.

Are you ready?

As I said contemplating ones mortality during the week of ones first surgery ever may not be the most encouraging but it's necessary.

Life is short.

Are we truly living or are you just waiting to die?

Life is a gift 

I just heard about a beautiful teenager who was killed in a car accident. The young lady had her whole life in front of her and she's gone.

Francis Chan reminds us of the fragility and brevity of life. In the end all that will matter is our God. It's all about him and how our lives pointed to him through our faith and service.

Living a life of selfishness and materialism is unfulfilling and worst of all nobody will be helped or touched. Your life will not have an impact

Some of The worst funerals to attend are the ones where nobody has anything good to say about the departed or very few people get up to talk about how the deceased touched their lives. Francis Chan is a little more blunt and says people get up and lie at these types of funerals or everyone is thinking “They really weren't that great of a person”

Money, prestige, and fame will not matter in the end. It's about truly living a life of service and impact while here on earth.