Single Sister in the City: If Only....you fall in love with my light

(This never got posted for some reason but it is important!)

All of my life I have lived in if only

When I was younger it was:

If only I was thinner

If only I was prettier

If only the boys liked me

When I became an adult it was:

If only I was fitter

If only I was married

If only I had a better job

If only I had more money

If only 

If only

If only

If only I wasn't me.

An a-ha moment on the treadmill

I am training for my first fitness competition so I am getting into pretty good shape.  I have to say that I am at the fittest I have been in years.

I am still single.

This is important to note because I have uttered the words if only I were in better shape, then I wouldn't be rejected.  I would have the man of my dreams because I was fit enough and good enough.

While doing my intervals on the treadmill I realized that was the biggest lie ever and my instincts are telling me that it isn't the exterior that a man will be drawn to.  It is the light within.  The man that I draw in will not be enamored with my looks, accomplishments, or any of that nonsense.  He will be in love with my light and he will not be able to stay away.

Inner Work and Perspective Change: 

I don't know how this happened but it did.

Last Thursday June 19, I had a perspective change and mind shift.  This is more proof of the inner work.

Love has nothing to do with looks, accomplishments, or any of that.  It has everything to do with the light.  If someone is drawn to your light, then they can't stay away from that.  They can try to run away or try to forget about it, but it will not work.  

I began to verbalize these ideas and things began to shift.  I began to acknowledge what my instincts were telling me.  Love and attraction has nothing to do with my exterior or accomplishments.  It really does not matter whether I weigh 160 lbs or 135 lbs.  If someone is here for ME, then they will not care.  It's not my weight or looks they are drawn to.  It's my light and that light is there to draw him closer to God and into a relationship with Christ.  Not for my own selfish ambitions.

All of the years that I have felt rejected and unwanted was because I was measuring myself by some impossible standard.  I thought I had to be perfect for someone to love me and want to be with me.  Totally not true. As imperfect as I am, I still have the light of Christ in my life and that's what I want my husband to fall in love with.  I want him to fall in love with my light.

God has placed on my heart that one of my main missions is to lead my husband to a relationship with Christ.  In order for that to happen, I must live by example and he has to see the light in my life. THAT is what he will be drawn to.

Yall we are getting sooooo close.  I expect God to do SOMETHING.

I no longer will say "If only" except to say If only you fall in love with my light because it will lead to your destiny.

To God be the Glory