I'm Ready: To Be Wrong
Another stream of consciousness post.
I want to share all the steps of this journey not just the a-ha moments and good news. Tonight I feel compelled to share what's in my mind.
I'm disappointed.
I'm disappointed and listening to "What becomes of the Brokenhearted"
I'm disappointed because NOTHING happened today.
I won't even lie. I was expecting SOMETHING to happen again today and it did not. The preacher said clarity in this season and I was like "OK on Thursday..we will get the big reveal."
No such luck.
I love the quote that you have to be willing to be WRONG in order to find out if you were right. It's about taking risks and then if you find out you're wrong, then you know God has something better in mind.
The only way I will find out is to step out on faith and risk it. I did that last year. I still don't know if I was right but instead of my faith being shattered like I thought it would be if what I thought did not happen my faith grew by leaps and bounds. I knew at least God was listening to me and I felt like I was taking steps of faith.
What I Think is going on right now may be completely wrong from what God has planned.
Today just felt such a disappointment. Nothing is happening (at least that I can see) and it seems like maybe I'm telling myself this stuff out of wishful thinking.
It's parallel to the fitness competition. I went through those few weeks where I wanted to give up because it felt like an exercise in futility, but after looking at progress pictures there was a BIG difference. It just feels like I'm NEVER going to get onstage. I know I will if I don't give up and just keep going one day at a time.
It is the same with this. There has been so much progress in the last 7 months alone it is pathetic. HUGE changes.
Last night I was reading over my journal from the end of 2012 to last year and there seems to be so much in it that doesn't make sense, but makes all the sense in the world. It's almost like I can put my finger on the dots but I still don't get it.
I'm not supposed to...yet.
I guess this post is just another reminder not to try and figure it out in my own mind and then get disappointed when things don't happen the way I thought they would. I also think this post is a good reminder not to start getting feeling sorry for myself when I get discouraged.
I'm ready to be wrong.
The only way to find out anything is to take a risk and find out. I don't want to go back to believing NOTHING was going to happen and if it did, then it would be negative. I wasn't even willing to take any risks.
I told God to irrevocably close the door on that which should not be opened so we can roll with that.
I still believe that I will receive clarity and victory...just maybe not today.
I'm ready to be surprised and be completely wrong because I trust God and I know that he has the long term vision in mind rather than my wanting to get the show on the road because I'm tired of seeing it happen for everyone else and not me.
I'm Ready to be wrong. His plans are better than mine.
I'm Ready
To God be the Glory
I want to share all the steps of this journey not just the a-ha moments and good news. Tonight I feel compelled to share what's in my mind.
I'm disappointed.
I'm disappointed and listening to "What becomes of the Brokenhearted"
I'm disappointed because NOTHING happened today.
I won't even lie. I was expecting SOMETHING to happen again today and it did not. The preacher said clarity in this season and I was like "OK on Thursday..we will get the big reveal."
No such luck.
What if I'm wrong?
I think I'm right about a whole lot of things on this journey, but I also may be way off in other areas. I may be completely wrong about what I think is happening because it's what I want to happen and what I wish was happening.
I love the quote that you have to be willing to be WRONG in order to find out if you were right. It's about taking risks and then if you find out you're wrong, then you know God has something better in mind.
The only way I will find out is to step out on faith and risk it. I did that last year. I still don't know if I was right but instead of my faith being shattered like I thought it would be if what I thought did not happen my faith grew by leaps and bounds. I knew at least God was listening to me and I felt like I was taking steps of faith.
What I Think is going on right now may be completely wrong from what God has planned.
Today just felt such a disappointment. Nothing is happening (at least that I can see) and it seems like maybe I'm telling myself this stuff out of wishful thinking.
It's parallel to the fitness competition. I went through those few weeks where I wanted to give up because it felt like an exercise in futility, but after looking at progress pictures there was a BIG difference. It just feels like I'm NEVER going to get onstage. I know I will if I don't give up and just keep going one day at a time.
It is the same with this. There has been so much progress in the last 7 months alone it is pathetic. HUGE changes.
Last night I was reading over my journal from the end of 2012 to last year and there seems to be so much in it that doesn't make sense, but makes all the sense in the world. It's almost like I can put my finger on the dots but I still don't get it.
I'm not supposed to...yet.
I guess this post is just another reminder not to try and figure it out in my own mind and then get disappointed when things don't happen the way I thought they would. I also think this post is a good reminder not to start getting feeling sorry for myself when I get discouraged.
I'm ready to be wrong.
The only way to find out anything is to take a risk and find out. I don't want to go back to believing NOTHING was going to happen and if it did, then it would be negative. I wasn't even willing to take any risks.
I told God to irrevocably close the door on that which should not be opened so we can roll with that.
I still believe that I will receive clarity and victory...just maybe not today.
I'm ready to be surprised and be completely wrong because I trust God and I know that he has the long term vision in mind rather than my wanting to get the show on the road because I'm tired of seeing it happen for everyone else and not me.
I'm Ready to be wrong. His plans are better than mine.
I'm Ready
To God be the Glory
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