Losing my journal shouldn't produce so many a-ha moments...but it did

I misplaced/lost my devotional journal.  I took it with me when I went to get my hair done two weeks ago and now I can't find it.

Totally insignificant right?

NOPE!  God used the experience as a teaching tool

I can't unless...

I have several different journals.  This particular journal is for my daily devotions from Proverbs 31 ministries, my Bible studies, and notes from worship service.  I was starting to get irritated when I couldn't find it because I felt like I couldn't do my Proverbs 31 devotionals unless I had THIS journal.  

So what happened?  For the last two weeks I haven't done them because the circumstances weren't right..

I was also starting to get antsy because I have another Bible Study starting this week and I wanted the  new Bible study notes in this particular journal.

It all comes down to this: In my mind I can't do things unless the circumstances are right and everything is in order.  

I went back to the salon yesterday for my 2 week appointment hoping it had turned up.  (I was in there last week looking for it but my hairstylist was on vacation)

It had not turned up and now I was lost.  What was I going to do?

Ecclesiastes 11:4 If you wait for perfect conditions, nothing will get done!

Several weeks ago I mentioned how we had a team of missionaries go to Haiti.  The leader of that trip was our associate Pastor.  He told us the story of how the airlines lost his luggage.  He is a man of order and had packed meticulously for the journey, so he was none too happy when he kept going back to the airport and they hadn't found his luggage.

He ended up having to wear the same clothes for the rest of the trip and borrowing clothes  from others.  He said that God used that experience to teach him a lesson.  There were things he was going to have to let go in this season of his life.

The lesson I'm getting from MY lost journal episode is straight from Ecclesiastes 11:4: 

 If you wait for perfect conditions, nothing will get done!

Life always has to make sense to me.  Circumstances always have to be in a particular order, the setting has to be just so, and I need to be able to see the logic and reason behind things.  I also like things to go a certain way or else I'm not going to be happy.  My sister and co-workers would probably tell you that I am very My Way or the Highway!

A-ha Moments

During my Quiet Time this morning,  I thought "You know if I get this bent out of shape about a lost journal, I'm sure I do this about everything else.  If I wait for everything to make sense, for everything to be *just right*, and it to be the way I want it...I'm just going to set myself up for a lot of failure and misery because NOTHING is ever going to be under perfect conditions."

It doesn't matter what it is: work, relationships, starting an exercise program, eating healthier, or saving money.  If we wait for the perfect conditions to get started it is never going to happen because something ALWAYS comes up.   

I always tell my clients: Start where you are. (why can't I take my own advice)

 My other a-ha moment If I can only be happy when things turn out the way I want, under my specified conditions, I am also going to be disappointed. 

Life rarely turns out the way we want it to and people are not robots obeying our every command.  Besides even if you are a great manipulator and are great at controlling people, eventually your minions will get sick of it and rebel.

Accept it and move on with a smile

So what did I do this morning?? I decided to just use my prayer journal as my devotional journal from now on.  If the other one turns up, then great but if not...fine.  I spent the morning catching up on my devotions. Side note:  If I had been doing them over the past two weeks perhaps I wouldn't have been so tempted to get discouraged.

I wasn't even as excited about the Bible Study because I didn't have the right journal.  *Deep sigh* Who really even cares???? During the Bible study, I started the blog and I have posted everything that was in the journal from the last study.  

I was even worried someone would find it and then they would read it.  It didn't even have my name on it! You see how self centered I am thinking someone would even CARE.

This was all very silly.

Finally I decided to just accept that I misplaced it and move on without beating myself up about misplacing the journal.

A-ha Moment

In my life there are going to be those moments when things are going to be lost, misplaced, messed up, and my carefully laid plans are going to be thrown out the window.  

What am I going to do?  Get angry, verbally abuse my husband, children, employees, and then give up altogether because things didn't go my way.

NO THANKS.  

As long as everyone is still alive at the end of the day then all is not lost.  I will just have to accept that my plans didn't work out and move on with life.  We'll learn from it and move on with a smile

It won't make any sense anyway

The very next verse in Ecclesiastes sums up why we shouldn't wait for perfect conditions because we won't understand God's ways anyway.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 

God's ways are as hard to discern as the pathways of the wind, and as mysterious as a tiny baby being formed in a mother's womb

If you've ever read a really good thriller/murder mystery, when you get to the end you can see how everything worked together and it all made sense.  If you're like me, I like to re-read the parts I didn't pay attention to as closely and then I wonder how I missed this and didn't see it coming at the end! I believe the same works with our lives.

• We have to remember that God already knows how things will turn out.  We don't.  
• God already knows how everything will work together.  We don't.  
• We are working with limited wisdom and vision.  God has infinite wisdom and vision

With these points in mind, I keep saying it but it's the truth:  Trying to make sense of it all is an exercise in futility because it won't make any sense anyway.

Is it really that serious?

I never thought I would be one of those folks who could find a lesson in the ordinary things of life, but I did.  I probably wouldn't have thought much of it if the associate pastor hadn't shared his own struggle of perfectionism and control.

This is a season of learning, refining, and growth so I am open to all of the lessons God has to teach me...even if it's losing my journal!