Fresh Vision: Letting Go of self created stories I AM NOT A HERO.

I have had a tremendous A-ha Moment this week

In Pastor Nina's sermon about Fresh Vision she talked about what we need to let go in order to have Fresh Vision.

I realized this week that I need to let go of these self created stories that I've made up in which I'm the hero.  I realized that I am looking to receive the glory and also to reaffirm my unconscious narrative that God will disappoint me by giving me a stone for bread, snakes for fish, and a scorpion for eggs type of dude and I will end up having to be the hero of my own story or bowing out altogether.

Talk about being out of alignment with God's will!!

I don't trust God to give me good gifts

We all know that with this part of my life I don't really trust God.   Brother Richard never lied when he told me to pray, "God I give you permission to direct the show".  

I finally realized it this week with all of this alignment talk:  I still don't expect God to give me a good gift.  I expect crap-ola that I'll have to clean up.  Ha!  Like I could actually do that.

Do you know what would really bring Glory to God? Not me calling myself restoring some poor wayfaring stranger.

What would really bring Glory to God is if he gave me the gift of a husband who is: 

• spiritually conscious 
• emotionally available
• faithful
• loyal
• loving
• exciting
• handsome
• fun

and wants to build a faith based legacy.  

THAT would bring glory to God because clearly we know that unconsciously I was choosing unavailable people so I wouldn't have to risk it. 

I was too afraid of losing control so me choosing and saying Yes to someone healthy, whole, and who actually was ready to get the Adventure of a Lifetime on the road would bring the Glory

God would receive Glory if he wasn't exactly in the package that I was expecting and at not the most ideal time but I pushed past the fear and said YES!!

For me who comes from a dysfunctional background and is terrified of ending up passing on a generational curse to be in a thriving and functional marriage....THAT Would bring Glory to God because it would be a MIRACLE!!

I am not a Hero

I'm not interested in saving anyone.  

I'm not a hero

God is the one who is supposed to save people...not Geneva.

However I have a hero complex because I want applause.

The applause that belongs to God

Hero complexes also coming from wanting more Control to minimize disappointment (because I don't trust God)

I'm ready to give up control and let God give me a gift that is Holy Spirit Certified (as Brother Richard said) 

God will be the hero of my story...not me.

What about Shiloh Church??

I don't know y'all there's something for me at Shiloh Church.  I know I'm supposed to be there.  I love Sister Aimee Semple McPhereson and have just started learning more about her.  I was always fascinated by her, her ministry, her scandals, and how dramatic her teaching was.  This was totally my type of party.  She seemed so interesting and exciting.  

Well I wasn't surprised at all when I found out that she laid hands on Dr. Violet Kiteley and told her that she would prophesy and pastor churches.  Women just didn't do that in those days...but she did! Now look...I'm eating off of the fruit of that prophecy.

It's all very exciting...and I know that I am in alignment on this one especially with Revival happening soon.

Pastor Javier said the answer was right in front of us:  I hope he   it is!