Level Up: I'm a Contender

"There are some prophetic words that you've been given that you are going to have to contend for"

-Pastor Dawn 

A light bulb went off in my head.

I've been showing up.

I've been putting in the time and putting in that work. 

But I haven't been contending for what I believe is worth the fight. 

I've been showing up and doing the bare minimum because I'm still worried about being disappointed and because of fear about various things.

What if it actually happens?  Then what?
What if it won't be like I think it should be? (Well we already know the answer to that.  It won't be)
What if I've made it all up (again)
What if I end up with egg on my face?

Yes we know that God will fight our battles and I know he will rescue me.  I get all that but I think I was singing "This is how I fight my battles" on the sidelines without getting into the actual fight. 

I had a moment where I was tempted to go back and do what I have done in the past.  I literally drove away and then drove back because I think I was in overflow and I was ready to get it going.  I had enough. 

While I was driving home I thought to myself:

"Am I blowing it?  God what am I supposed to do?"

"There are some prophetic words that you've been given that you are going to have to contend for.  Is this not worth fighting for?  Easy come...Easy Go."

I am attempting to make a radical shift in mindset that will take me far far far far out of my comfort zone.  For years I've held myself back with these overwhelming negative thoughts.  I know where that comes from.

 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

If the above scripture is true (and I think it is), then I can't imagine the powers of darkness would be happy about all this and doing everything in his power to stop it whether it's planting seeds of doubt or trying to convince me this is all a waste of time.

Is there not a cause?

Yes there is.

There is a cause.

There is a mission.

There is a battle.

There is also a cost but it will all be worth it.

I can't just sit passively on the sidelines, do the bare minimum,  and expect deliverance because I'm too afraid of what it would be like to be all in.

I'm afraid of disappointment but I'm even more afraid of giving up and settling for a life that I don't want.