Level Up: Commitment and Fear

Last week Frank Damazio said that one of God's names is Jehovah Slow.

I have to agree.  

If I have learned anything in reading the Old Testament this year, it's that anything that involves legacy involves a process and that process is nearly always S-L-O-W.

God shows people the vision and then there's often a process where the people mess up and it takes even longer (Abraham, Moses, and the Israelites) or God engineers the circumstances in a way that ultimately creates a long lasting legacy that saves many lives. (Joshua, Jacob, Joseph, King David)

Anyway it's a process and the process is much slower than you think, but within this is a paradox.  We have Jehovah Slow but also Jehovah Suddenly.  There is always a moment in these stories that changes everything and that moment almost always happens suddenly.

Things have been getting strange for me as of late.

The God of Suddenly

One day last week, I was led to read Ezekiel 37 out loud in my car.  I started reading at the top of my lungs and then I got to verse 7 

So I spoke this message, just as he told me. Suddenly as I spoke, there was a rattling noise all across the valley. The bones of each body came together and attached themselves as complete skeletons. 

I kept saying over and over again SUDDENLY SUDDENLY SUDDENLY

I came away from this experience thinking, "The God of Suddenly.  It seems slow now but it will all happen suddenly"

Fear and Commitment

I have heard some people say God puts us on a slow process to make sure that we are committed.  Will we keep on keeping on even when we think it's going too slow or it's not happening the way we want?

I think this is a valid point because I have all kinds of doubts and fears running through my head.

Sometimes I think I am a complete wackjob and making all of this up.  It's all wishful thinking on my part because I am desperate for some excitement and a change.  I think, "You're just making it all up.  This isn't really happening like this.  You've been here before, don't you remember?"

Yeah but it's different this time.  I know it is.  I'm even going about it in a different way.

Then there is Fear talking me out of what I really want.  I'll think:  "Maybe this is just what you are telling yourself right now because you're getting older and afraid of missing out.  It's not happening and hasn't happened so maybe you should stop believing for it so you won't be disappointed."

Whenever that thought starts sneaking in, Timehop seems to have an answer for me like this one:

So will I allow my fears to disrupt my commitment to the promise I believe God has for me?  

Will I become impatient and try to run ahead to make it happen?

Will I will what I want and my will be done instead of thy will be done?

Will I stay committed until my suddenly moment?

Yes

I want the husband with the servant's heart

I want the children who will serve God, bear fruit, glorify Him, and be our legacy on the earth

I even want a dog!

I will not allow the enemy to steal an entire volume of my life

The other thing I have learned through this process is that commitment is a daily practice.  Each day I have to be committed and recommit because it's in the day to day moments that I get off track.  

In the Personal Development realm we call it:  The Slight Edge or the Compound Effect.  It's the Day to Day that either gets you closer to the destination or completely off course.

All I know is for the last year or so, the Lord has been telling me to: Make Room.  

"Make room for what?"  I would ask

"Don't worry about it," he said.  "You just do what you're supposed to be doing."

Just a note about this process...

Many of you are reading this after the fact and know the eventual outcome of this season.  As I'm writing this, I'm not sure when or how the suddenly will happen.

(This blog is going Live in 2019.  I wanted an accurate written account of my journey so people could see how it all unfolded. I was sick of the sanitized testimonies online where it was obvious that people added their own little tidbits for dramatic effect and to sell books.  Yeah I said it)