Level Up: Relationships are the key to everything

We're still on this business of:  Who's in your Corner at Shiloh Church.  

Siiiigh.  Pastor Javier said some of what I've known intuitively and been thinking about for a while now.

I will NOT become the woman I'm supposed to be until I am in healthy relationship.  Not just a romantic relationship but in healthy relationships amongst the believers and yes the romantic relationship as well.

Very Sad Scripture

Pastor Javier quoted the saddest scripture.  I thought to myself..."Wow this is so terrible and the trajectory I found myself on." 

This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, "Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?" It is all so meaningless and depressing.

No thanks.  I can't go for that.  No Can do.

A double portion of patience

Even though I've put  Love Connection on hold, today we had some strategic placement of this during this conversation about relationships. 

I wrote in my journal: COME ON JESUS!!  No action yet but I keep reminding myself that I asked for a double portion of patience so I'm sure God has taken me up on that offer.

Plus instead of worrying about getting action to change my circumstances,  I am focused on CHANGING ME otherwise I will blow it. 

I am ready to get the healing going and get into those dark places in my life so that I can approach relationships with a healthier perspective instead of looking for problems and a reason to jump ship.

Former evangelical and writer Rachel Held Evans said that after coming out of her evangelical experience where she was ALL IN, she said she began to intellectualize everything so that she would not get emotionally detached.  I realized that I do the exact same thing.  I intellectualize and evaluate everyone so that I don't get emotionally attached to protect myself from being hurt.

In some ways that strategy does work.  Like with the business community I recently dropped, I realized it wasn't going to produce the fruit that I needed to Level Up in my career.  I also wasn't hurt because I wasn't emotionally invested.  At the end of the day I had to remind myself I was doing a business transaction, I wasn't paying for friends so it was easy to move on.

It is also critical that I drop relationships that aren't bearing fruit and also get around people that I want to be like.  I want marriage mentors and I want to be around people who I want to be like in 15 years and who also hold my similar spiritual beliefs.  That is what is missing in my life.

I'm nervous about getting involved in this church community at Shiloh because I will be getting emotionally invested.  No way around it but I know that it's necessary for my growth and for my life.

Cleansing Streams class is a good place to start because we're GOING DEEP right off the bat so we can get the mind right.

Restoration

Pastor Javier said something that I'm writing down here because it was an a-ha moment

Relationships will not be restored until I get into healthy relationship.  On my own I can't do it.  Until I get into healthy relationship other relationships will not be restored.  

I firmly believe that and that's why I'm taking a deep breath and getting into community at Shiloh and hopefully getting into more intimate relationships...including this

Level Up

I'm excited because our church is having a conference this week called (Our God is) Limitless.  Here's the thing: We're having Cornelius and Heather Lindsey as guest speakers.  I was an avid follower of Heather's for years so this should be interesting for me because I am also doing market research this coming weekend.

I am going to do something similar to Heather's Pinky Promise organization here in the spiritual wasteland of the Bay Area.  My vision is to have a co-ed group and while relationships/defending the family will be a big part that won't be all we talk about.  This too, I believe is strategic.  Giving me some great glimpses of what's to come.

This season we are all about