Level Up: I am Committed

This Cleansing Streams Class is no joke.

I got very uncomfortable in this past week's class because I realized how disillusioned and negative I actually am.  It's bad. 

There's an undercurrent of eternal disappointment in my life because that's how I've been programmed.  You can't rely on people because they will let you down. 

So as a coping mechanism I have learned to build up a wall so that I don't let myself get disappointed and I've learned to intellectualize disappointment.

Right before this past week's class one of my clients and I were talking about commitment. The gist of the conversation was that she had been very surface level in her approach to her health and fitness. She did "all the things" it but she wasn’t committed to the process but now she was all in.

That’s what I realized about my relationship with God and with people. It has been pretty surface level.

Sure I go to worship, read the Bible, did bible study, prayed, etc but I wasn’t necessarily committed to the process of transformation. I had allowed disillusionment and disappointment to rule the roost so I still had walls up and I just didn’t have the commitment to GO DEEP.

This has all changed. I'm serious about Leveling up.

We were given rings in class to symbolize God's eternal love for us and that it will never end.

I put my ring on my marriage finger to symbolize my commitment to the process for the duration of this class.
I am not going to quit the class no matter how uncomfortable I get.
My commitment is not superficial or surface level.

I am committed to GOING DEEP.

My ring symbolizes that I am in covenant with the Lord and I am Going to be faithful to my promise because I know God is going to be faithful.

I won’t be disappointed because those who trust in the Lord will not be disappointed.

The Lord reaffirmed my covenant with this scripture

“I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion.
I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord.”
‭‭Hosea‬ ‭2:19-20

The other reason the ring went on my marriage finger was because that is the area I want the Lord to heal most. I want to be delivered from  my disillusionment and disappointment and I want to be open to receive and give love to others.

I wanted to see significant progress with my biggest fears

• Intimacy
• Vulnerability
• Getting close to other humans
• Allowing God to bring down the wall and receive love freely

Committing to the Process that will produce results

I posted this on my Instagram this week and ironically the First Lesson at the Limitless Conference was about the process and that's what I had been thinking about all this week.

Many times on social media, people like to show their results for encouragement. That’s fine but what about encouraging people who are committed to the process in order to produce results? 

That’s my area professionally as a coach and also on this sacred journey ministry. I’m here to encourage people that what they want is possible and I must believe that for myself so here I am.

I think that I am closer than ever to seeing this dream fulfilled.  For Heaven's sake I even went and joined this class where I am SO uncomfortable because I feel compelled to do so.  For the past year, the Lord has been saying "Make Room.  Make room."  Well make room for what?  It doesn't seem like we're getting anywhere and even when I see this at church

 I haven't even said one word to him for SIX MONTHS!!

But...something has changed

Something has changed within me.  I'm committed to the process of changing and transforming.  Any results that I get will mean nothing if  I don't transform.

My mindset of, "let's be single and not all in because I am too afraid of being disappointed" in a relationship isn't going to fly.

If I REALLY want this man with the vision, purpose, and a dream in his heart...and I do, then I have to change.  I've got to commit to the process without running off because it's uncomfortable.

This weekend at the (Our God) is Limitless conference one of my intentions is to eliminate my self imposed limits.

• Not worth it because your life can be ruined
• Relationships aren't for me
• If it was going to happen, then it would have happened by now
• It's not going to happen
• I will always be disappointed
• God will not come through for me

Ugh.  Let it GO!

And then we shall get more undignified than this!!