Genesis: Let there be Healing and Renewal

Another Healing Night....More Steps forward.

Boy.. and this one WENT DEEP for me and I left under conviction and having to take some action steps that I'm not exactly thrilled about but know that I must take in order to LEVEL UP in this next season.

Let me back up...I didn't like the sermon from that morning because the preacher stepped on all my toes.  He talked about Who is in your corner and why so many of us don't want to get in community because of being hurt and wanting to do it all on our own.  I was looking like 

Cause he was stepping on all my toes.

He was talking about Organic Community.  I've been thinking the next steps for me are to join Shiloh Church and then to start assemble the Lions and Lionesses for our conferences.  I can't do that on my own though. 

I just don't want to join another church and I certainly don't want to open myself up to relationships with people at church but I want to have this group...so what am I supposed to do?  I'm supposed to push past the fear and get moving.

I've been carrying on about how my inheritance is at Shiloh like in the book of Joshua and my Seed Sowing Sunday said as much but I just don't want to open myself up to disappointment with another church.

Heal my Church Hurt and Anger about it

That was the first request on my list.  

I grew up in the Church of Legalism and I saw the effect that the false doctrine has done to lead people astray and what it's done to families and people I've known along the way.  It all seems so wrong that people can continue to spread lies like this under the guise of "THE LORD" and watch as families/lives are destroyed.  

They should be taken down in my opinion.

Yes that's very judgmental but all the the lives that have been ruined by false doctrine should mean something.

The two wonderful ladies who prayed for me (Pearl and Pat) were wonderful prayer partners.  Pearl stood in proxy for church leadership as I said my forgiveness to them and said, "I owe them nothing."

You know I would hate to join a faith movement and have it negatively impact my family line like the Church of Legalism did but I don't think that will happen.  I'm just afraid of that happening.

Open my Heart to New Community (like Shiloh) and Relationships

One of the ladies Pat correctly guessed that my mistrust has a lot to do with authority figures in my life being a massive disappointment.  

Here's the thing: I would rather not have a family if it means my kids will say 

"I don't want to end up like my parents."

I've avoided relationships up until this point because I don't want my life to be ruined by marrying the wrong person and allowing someone else's "stuff" to ruin my chances at success.  

For years it has been my position that it would be better to be alone (perhaps with a dog) and have professional accomplishment than to take the chance on marrying the wrong person and ending up as a failure.

Pastor Jules Moore (in his sermon that I did not like because I got under conviction)  did address that point.  

He said the Prophet Elijah could have died as an accomplished prophet (He took Baal and his folks down in the Royal Smackdown on the Mountain) but that is not how God works.  God is a God of Legacy.  

In my study of the Old Testament nothing is more clear than God's focus on generational inheritance.  Punishment is often that your bloodline will be cut off. (See Eli the Prophet in 1Samuel)

In the meditative space I thought to myself:  "I could be missing an entire volume of my life if I allow fear to rule the roost."  It wouldn't just be a chapter.  It would be an entire volume of my story that would be missing because I was too afraid of failing.  Where is the faith in THAT?  Even worse think of all the people that would miss out.

Just looking at all the people who said "That's why I'm done with church!" after the Aretha Franklin funeral this past week and all of the sad single women...if I get myself together...think about how many I can help to show what is possible!! Just like my Health, Fitness, and Personal Development Coaching was motivated by own victories, so shall it be with the most barren part of my life.

Next Moves...

Well after the emotional Prayer Session, this wonderful lady named Patty came and told me about a class called Cleansing Streams at Shiloh.  I saw the next round starts on Sept. 9 so I emailed the leader and asked if it was too late to sign up.

I'll be real.  I don't want to do this but I know if I don't, then life will suck and we will just further delay the inevitable.  It's time to start preaching, teaching, writing, 

and yes...it's time to get this together.  Although as I said before...More Kingdom Business and Less Love Connection.

My intentions this Fall

• Do this Cleansing Stream Class and GET MY MIND RIGHT
• Join the Fellowship at Shiloh
• Get busy serving the community and being an ASSET to the people of Shiloh
• Start assembling the Lionesses together
• Continue to Grow Professionally:  Hit Revenue Goals, Do some strategic networking, and Plan for 2018
• Love On Top!

And most of all....The theme for this Fall!! (It worked for Ciara...it's gonna work for me too)