Proverbs 31 OBS Week 2 Listen Love Repeat: Helping people in a time of grief

A few years ago I was present when my friend got the worst phone call of her life.  

Her mother had collapsed and was not responding to the paramedics.  Her mother had just left a few minutes before and we were laughing because my friend had received some Valentine's Day flowers a day late and her mom had joked that those were discount flowers.  I turned to my friend and said, "Your mother is a hoot." 

So there I was left with her and several other shocked people along with her grandmother.  We were trying to be optimistic but it did not sound good.  Another woman offered to drive my friend's grandmother to be with the family at the hospital

My friend's mother passed away and I went to the funeral.  I normally only go to funerals for people that I know but I wanted to be there for my friend and her family.  I was with her at that terrible moment and I wanted to show my support.

I felt so awkward.  I didn't know what to say or do.

Reading this chapter by Karen Ehman this week let me know the best thing that I can do is help out and show up for others in their time of bereavement.

I always worry that I will say or do the wrong thing.  My mom never lets us forget that when my Grandfather was dying a church leader told my Grandfather: "We didn't come here to stay"  That was a thoughtless and tactless comment.  I don't want to be THAT person who says or does the wrong thing.

This past week one of my Facebook connections lost her sister in a tragic accident.

She asked for people to stop asking how she's doing because her sister was killed.  How do you think she's doing?  

I realized the best thing we can do for people is to show up and if we're not nearby maybe send them something.

1. Send a Gift Card for a restaurant so that they do not have to be bothered with cooking
2.  send them a gift card for a movie or something frivolous for a while.  
3.  we can just call them and let them talk to us or not if they don't want to.

The best thing we can do is be there.

If we are close by this Bible study gave some great tips

1.  Cook a meal or others
2.  Offer to clean the house and do chores
3.  Take the kids off of the bereaved's hands
4.  Offer to carpool the kids around
5.  Invite them out to do something fun or frivolous
6.  Let them talk about the deceased family member

In worrying about doing the WRONG thing, it is tempting to do nothing at all and that is not acceptable.  I have failed in doing this in the past.

I really liked that Karen gave practical suggestions for people to implement with this.  So many of us don't want to be a bother or be thoughtless during difficult times.

The main thing is to Listen, Love, Repeat!