Proverbs 31 OBS Week 4 Listen Love Repeat : Knowing our role but not believing we are saviors

I've got a bit of a different spin on this weeks Bible Study.

Karen talked a lot about how to love the prickly porcupines and skunks in our lives. The porcupines that are prickly and sticky or the skunky people that smell up your life. 

I agree that this is vital to any Christian's witness.

However

I want to address something that I was thinking about while reading this chapter and Karen did a great job of addressing this point:  

We are not people's personal saviors.  We did not hang on a cross to take away people's sins.  We cannot save nor fix people.  All we can do is reach out to them and let God do the rest.

Love Your Neighbor as You Love Yourself

I did not learn Jesus' greatest commands until I was an adult in college.  This shows you how important it was in legalism to learn what Jesus ACTUALLY said. This is just ONE of the reasons legalism is a false doctrine.

While we learned all kinds of great rules about how to do church service (that were made up), we did not learn the importance of loving God with all your heart and loving our neighbors as we love ourselves.

That's a sad commentary but it also explains why there was little love found in legalism and lots of strife along with prickly skunky  people.

Too many rules that people never feel good enough and so they spend their time talking about why everyone else is wrong.

This is why it is so important to teach people to love God and learn why that is an empowering love.  (He loves you even when you mess up , he loves you enough to save you from yourself, and you learn that There but for the grace of God go I)

Why it is important that we learn to be kind to ourselves and love ourselves so we can love others in the same way we have learned to be patient and kind to ourselves.

Imagine if American Christianity taught these simple principles instead of all of these other made up rules regarding politics, worship wars, and all of the other minutia that people focus on today.

Our Job is to love and not save others

I've been thinking about this a lot when it comes single women.

So many women feel it is their job to save the men that they encounter.  They think:  "If I could just love him enough" or "If he was only with me for a few months, then his whole life would change."

That prickly and skunky guy you've met who has SO much potential....women think if they just had the right woman (like you), then they would arrive at that full potential.

Let's stop it right now.

The answer is NO.

Women think that if they don't date or rescue the prickly and skunky guy then they won't find anybody because after all isn't that all that's available?  (NO IT IS NOT)

Women think that it is their job to fix the skunky and prickly guy but it isn't.  His job is to already have gone to the Lord to be fixed and then he can come find you.

Your job is to Love others, point them to God, and encourage that but it is NOT your job to think you need to spend your life rescuing people and trying to fix them.  You can't change anybody.

This doesn't just go for singles.  It goes for everyone.

I felt the need to address single women because I feel that too many (including myself) do this.  We think we must SETTLE for projects because it will be better than nothing and also maybe because our egos want some applause from the crowd about what a great job we've done with so and so.

During this Bible study and in the last few weeks, I've made a firm commitment to myself to SAY NO to any "projects".  I don't want the prickly and skunky guy with potential.  That isn't what I want and it would be settling.  I want the mature person who is ready for the next chapter of his life.  I don't want someone who is unavailable (emotionally and spiritually) and I try to "love" him enough to availability.  I don't want the guy who is prickly and skunky because of immaturity.  It's settling and it's worse than nothing.

I'm not saying that someone needs to be perfect because none of us are.  

I am being firm about Saying No to what I don't want.  

What I want is possible and it doesn't include trying to fix anyone or rescue some poor wayfaring stranger.

Don't Do anything for the applause, applause, applause

Karen said something awesome in Chapter 7 of the book.  (Paraphrasing)  When you decide to be nice or reach out to a prickly or skunky person, don't expect anything in return.

• Don't expect a parade and confetti for doing something nice for someone else who is prickly
• Don't think just because you did something nice that the person owes you something
• Don't take on people as projects that you intend to save and fix.  If you're committed to minister to the person, then great but leave the salvation and fixing to God
• If you're single (man or woman), then don't date prickly and skunky people thinking that if you just love them enough or if they are exposed to you, then you can help them change.  

The Least of these

I couldn't help but think about how in this country that politically the Christian right is NOT known for loving THE LEAST OF THESE. They aren't known for casting a compassionate eye towards the poor or people who have been traditionally oppressed in this country.

Isn't that sad?

Again if American Christianity actually focused on the teachings of Jesus, I think this would be different.

This is a great reminder for us all as we move forward.