Single Journey: Learning My Own Love Languages

Reading the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman has been eye opening for me.

This idea that people have different love languages and we need to know our own and our partners in order to have a thriving and loving relationship sounds like a no brainer but how many people have that level of awareness or even take the time to go through this preparation?

Learning My own Love Language

I was not surprised to find out that my love language was Acts of service. Talk is cheap in my opinion.

You can say I love you all day long and recite the most romantic sonnets but it's all meaningless if there's no action behind it.

I was surprised that receiving gifts was #2 because I've never received many gifts so maybe that's why it made the top of the list.

It wasn't surprising that my love languages all involved taking action and being practical. I figured if you were going to be around then at least be useful and not taking up space or being a distraction.

I was not surprised that physical touch rated the lowest. I don't even know if Physical touch even scored a point. I don't like being physically touched at al and I don't return affection. It's part of the wall I have built around myself but I don't want to have that wall up if I get married and have children. I want my children to receive affection at all stages of their lives and not just when they're cute little toddlers.

It's not jut for you....

The 5 Love Languages was good for me to learn about because I know that I may marry someone whose primary love language is physical touch and that will be challenging and uncomfortable for me and I will have no choice but to get over it!

I have been single and doing it by myself for so long that I don't really understand the value of having another person in my life. It seems pointless and quite potentially a waste of time to me. Sounds bad but it's what I think. I don't see the gain.

I had never even experienced  the euphoric in love experience that Dr. Chapman explains in the book so I wasn't even constant pursuit of that mystical state.

My attitude is that I can do it on my own. I've done it this far without much intimate support, encouragement, and help that I would rather not become dependent on anyone else because I assume that I will just end up disappointed.

I also held the fear that my life could end up being ruined because I trusted the wrong person.

We must be INTENTIONAL about our relationships

As I read the stories of couples who overcame obstacles in their relationships, I observed how important it is to be intentional in your relationships. Just like with your health and fitness, you've got to put work in. You cannot sit around and just hope that your relationship thrives.

You've got to be intentional about building a thriving relationship and you cannot sit around and think your partner should be doing this and that to make you happy.

I recommend all singles read the 5 Love Languages so you can become aware of how you need to be loved and also get insight on the love languages of others.

Just another stop on this Sacred Journey of Learning and Growing! I believe there's hope for me yet!