Quitting Church: The Plight of the Single Christian over 35 Pt 2

I can attest to the fact that you do feel as if you have failed by not attaining the Christian standard of marrying and having children by a certain age but I simply am not willing to compromise my beliefs and calling for the title of wife. Why would I do that? Because I'm sick of people and their helpful suggestions to try online dating and I want to stop the whispers from others questioning my worth and value

One of the women I follow on social media posted one day that anyone can get a ring but she wanted a marriage with purpose. It's not worth it to me to marry for status or to impress others. My vision and stance has been from the beginning that it will be to glorify God. End of story.

I always felt like that there was not only this unspoken question of what is wrong with you but also what sin are you hiding that is keeping you from the promised land.

A forty something female college professor who left the body of Christ because she felt like a “leftover” and a “failure” for not attaining the Christian mandate to marry and procreate. 

At church the loneliness was most unbearable. I still often wonder what hidden sin that I have committed to be denied a failure. (97)

These are all very sad statements but they are statements that resonate with me and I'm sure many others.

Why aren't Christians socialized to become productive husbands and wives. Where are the teachings to help people become productive platforms and then the platforms to help provide solutions for singles desiring to be married. It can't be about settling for the get by option but a conscious choice.

I also believe that marriage should stop being seen as a MUST DO for your own selfish ambitions. I'm sick of seeing getting married as an accomplishment. It should be seen as a union that God uses to make an IMPACT. Getting Married, Staying Married, and being fruitful in the marriage is an accomplishment and testimony in itself.

Marriage has become an idol in many Christian circles. They worship weddings, marriage, and children and then people who don't have those things begin to covet them. I know I did. Me and God had a really nice season about that. It's when I began to dig at the root of why I was so jealous and envious about people getting married when the last thing I needed at that time in my life was to be married.

I was jealous and envious because I thought that because I didn't hit that mark of marriage, then something was wrong with ME. I was being rejected and overlooked. Not so at all. I was being refined and learning to be the woman I needed to be.

On this Sacred Journey I have rebuked the idea of being married for the sake of selfish ambition.

I believe my vision, my mission, and my journey is too important to just get married because that's what I think I should do. I don't want to be married to carry a title of WIFE. I want it to mean something. I want it to be fruitful.

Do I think I will be married someday soon? Yes.

I believe I will be doing it for the right reasons and not for my own selfish ambition.

I wish churches would allow single people over 35 to have a platform to talk about these issues and have people share their stories instead of people suffering silently on the pew and eventually leaving out of the back door.

THAT is called Relevance my Friends.