Quitting Church: The Pastor Problem Part 3: The Disillusioned, Delusional, and Detached Pastor

“Church is set up so you are an audience and a core group of people do everything,” David Fredrickson, author of when the church leaves the building.

This is one of the reasons I'm against family run churches. They personify the definition of nepotism. They give positions based on familial relations rather than qualifications. It's one group that runs the whole church  and the rest of the people are on the outside looking in.  

One counselor noted that many of the pastors he sees are disillusioned and don't believe in what they are doing.

I don't blame them and I bet if they were to talk to some of the departed church members they would find that they are not alone in their disillusionment. I don't think I believe in the mission of the modern day church either which is why I didn't want to get involved or too connected.

The Spiritual Brain Drain

Losing someone like me is a big loss for the church. In the real world I'm recognized as someone who is good at what she does but I didn't feel useful when I tried to be involved in church because I wasn’t apart of the right cliques.

I haven't even hit my earning potential yet and I will have resources that would be useful for a church but I would rather take my earning potential and resources and put it to good use in the real world. Here's what one pastor called it.

“The average leave takers [in church] are in the prime of their lives, at the height of their earning power, skilled workers and mature in the faith. As they leave all the resources they have to give to the life of the church and mission go with them. While church leaders bemoan the lack of labor for their outreach ministries, the very people appointed by god to fill such slots have now slipped out the back door.”

Spiritual brain drain the book called it. I would call that right. A lot of the people I know who have left church would have been tremendous assets to their churches.

Is the Pastor the REAL reason people leave?

Disgraced pastor Ted haggard thinks so. “[Members] have been let down by church leaders whose children are wild and disobedient or who are in adulterous marriages”

He does have a point. My eyes turned cynical towards pastors and church leaders at a young age and it's only gotten worse as the scandals have gotten even more numerous  in the past few years and public.

I actually watched the documentary about the fall of Ted Haggard and I didn't feel any schadenfreude toward him or wag my finger towards him and say, "see! They are all hypocrites." I felt really sympathetic towards him. He seemed caught up in a make believe pretend world. I've seen that happen where pastors and church folks lose touch with reality and are completely out of touch with what's really going on.

Many seem to be be very delusional and detached from reality. They can't empathize with their congregants and so many people see the pastors as delusional or completely out of touch.

I have heard pastors who encourage their members to check out from what's happening in the real world and instead insulate themselves to their church fellowship.  Then these pastors act shocked when real world problems infiltrate these places.

Not facing reality can really hinder connecting with members.

I remember when a pastor got up and confessed before the congregation that he had a big struggle with music. He had a big problem with listening to secular music and he was struggling with this and God told him to throw his music collection away. He was a nice man and I'm not trying to minimize his struggle but when poverty rates are climbing and people are facing issues such as drug addiction, depression, etc..this sounds very out of touch.