Quitting Church: The Pastor Problem Part 2: Spotlight on the Black Church

Why aren't Black men in church?  Why doesn't anyone care?

As a black woman, I was ready to do a Jericho run at the comments about the  Pastor Problem and the Black church

According to John fountain a reporter and licensed minister

75% of the black church is female. This statistic is only going to rise because “the church does not-will not-seek us black men out or perhaps even mourn our disappearance from the pews.”

Time out

He's absolutely right. Churches don't want Black men in the pews. Many of them recognize the hustlers and  game that the shady pastors are running on the congregations.  They aren't going to spend an hour or two on a Sunday listening to that garbage. Men tend to be less emotional than women and aren't going to be swayed by a preacher screaming and crying in the pulpit to attempt emotionally manipulating people.

In my opinion, single women are a better business demographic. Black women are constantly told that their prospects for marriage are grim and so they are looking for hope somewhere.  Singles ministries, books, and how to get married married ministries are big business these days.  These single and hopeless women give their money to these scam artists hoping to meet their Boaz.

While I’m here let me add that most of these books and ministries are all about the woman fixing herself or preserving her purity to meet a man.  Why aren’t the men being socialized to fix themselves to be husbands, fathers, and leader?  I don’t believe in this mess about fixing yourself to find a husband/wife.  I think it’s just another way to sell books, retreats, and conferences.  It REALLY doesn’t make sense if there aren’t even enough men there for the women to date.  

Does the Black Church keep Women Single?

There was an article several years ago saying does the black church keep women single. As this statistic shows and I've seen in my own life, the men aren't in church and a fair percentage that are there might like the same type of man that you do. I’m just saying.

If you're looking for a man in church, then he's most likely not there and if the church keeps you busy with their activities where we know there are no men, when will you meet someone? Chances are if you do find a husband outside of church he won't want to go.

As I mentioned in the previous section about singles over 35, I knew I didn't want to marry a man from church. Many of the more attractive alpha males left during young adult years leaving the single women with the passive or undesirable men in church.  By undesirable I don’t just mean unattractive.  I mean the undesirable man that cannot lead himself so forget about trying to lead a family.

God has not called me to marry a passive man so I knew I was going to have to seek an alternative because God has called me to marry a man who has been called to be a leader. I couldn't respect him or be under the same mission (submission) otherwise.

With all the issues our community is facing you would think the church would be out trying to round up men to take back their homes and become faith filled husbands and fathers. It's not happening though and I suspect it won't happen as long as the single women are keeping the churches open.