I'm ready: Live from the State of Delay: Holding Still in the Dark Place

Praise God that I have moved out of the wilderness! I've moved to a new place...just like the Israelites.  

I am now a resident of the state of Delay.

This week I preached about how opportunities come disguised as setbacks, obstacles, and delays.  Wouldn't you know it that I received a practical life application right after that?

Practical Life Application

Yesterday I received the news that I will not be doing a fitness competition until next year.  That bummed me out because I felt like I failed.

I felt like this was yet another vision that I had that I'm not good enough to complete and that is taking forever to get accomplished. Deep down I know this is the right move because I attended a competition this past weekend and after looking at the women I realized that I am not ready to get up there.  I don't have enough muscle mass and my body fat is still high for bodybuilding.

Well that news got me down for a minute because I also don't want to be one of those people who sell wolf tickets.  People who do a lot of talking but hardly any producing.  I felt like I went around and told people that I am going to compete and now it isn't going to happen until next year.

The Purpose of Delay

I am currently reading another book by Bob Sorge about the Fire of Delayed Answers and he says that God delays us for two reasons

• Maturity
• Fruitfulness

I can honestly say that I understand this and believe this.  During this time of delay I have grown so much in my relationship with God.  I understand that my purpose is to be fruitful and bring people to Christ and not just live for my own selfish ambition

A Vision in A Coffee Shop

Two years ago I was in my favorite neighborhood coffee shop crafting my vision of my Mr. Wonderful.  It was during that time I received revelation that this wasn't going to be what I thought it would be.  My Mr. Wonderful would be a blessing from God and exactly who I needed in my life, but he wouldn't be who and what I thought he would be.

He most likely won't be the man on my superficial husband checklist but he will be EVERYTHING on my God anointed checklist.

Once I understood this I knew there would need to be changes.  I had a good kick in the pants at the Joyce Meyer conference but then I decided to try and make things happen with Mr. Excitement because he made me excited. Of course that was a complete and shameful disaster.

Of course June 30 ushered in the incredible spiritual experience of 2013 and I have been accelerating in my growth ever since.  I can't even believe that was last summer.  It feels like a lifetime ago.

I had that revelation in the coffee shop two years ago and I'm still single.  Sure lots of stuff has happened but I haven't met Mr. Wonderful (well he hasn't been revealed) and I'm still waiting.  

Holding Still in the Dark Place

Way back when I first received my revelation in the coffee shop, the Lord said "Be Still and Know that I am God". I wasn't mature enough to do that back then because I didn't TRUST Go.  I needed to help God along and as we know I made a complete mess of things.

Right now I'm holding still and it is HARD.

I am a doer.  I want to do something but I've told God I trust him with everything so I'm sitting back chilling and waiting on Him.  I expect him to do SOMETHING.

I'm trusting Him in so many areas.  

Career

Right now in my career, I'm working but I'm working on developing projects such as my blog, my social media reach, and working on some professional development.  I'm also using this time to study and learn for my teaching/empowerment ministry.  Well that's all great but I still have bills.  I have flirted with the idea of trying to find something else to do, but wouldn't you know I make enough money to tithe and cover all of my bills.

I feel as though God is asking me to trust him for provision in EVERY area including finances which is hard because we always want to DO when it comes to money.

Yet God is saying Hold Still....I need you to learn to trust me.

The Dark Place

I'm in the dark place.  This dark place isn't a depression or pit as I have been before.  It's a place where I can't see anything.  I can't see how this is going to turn out.  I'm growing and I'm maturing in this dark place, but it's dark.

There's no light right now.  There's no glimmer of light down here that lets me know my plant is going to bloom.  All I have is faith that I am going to spring out of this dark place and bloom into what God has called me.

As Pastor Patrick Kitely Says, it's so tempting to want to escape this dark place.  I want to get out of here, try to make something happen, do something, anything to get out of the dark place but I can't.  I have to be still down here SO THAT God can bring me to full maturity and I can bear fruit.

I have to bear fruit otherwise everything I'm saying isn't worth anything.  I must be fruitful.

I am going to lead my Mr. Wonderful into a new and fresh relationship with God.

He will be attracted by my marvelous light which is the love of God and not any of that superficial nonsense.

This means that I have to love God with all my heart, mind, and soul which is the first command anyway and as  Bob Sorge says, everything will flow from there.  The wait will have been worth it.

So I'm here.

In the State of Delay.

Holding Still

In the Dark Place

To God be the Glory