Live from the Wilderness: Hard Truth #3- Don't blame the scouts...they are there to reveal your heart

A few years ago, I decided to remind myself WHY the Israelites were sentenced to wander in the wilderness for 40 years.

After reading the story, it seemed to me that the people wandered because they listened to the bad report from the scouts.  At that time I was dealing with the issue of listening to others and letting people influence my decision making.

After dealing with my own version of the scouts this past week, I saw something different in the text.  It's easy to place the blame on the scouts for their negative report, but it wasn't just the scouts fault the Israelites were sentenced to die in the wilderness.

God used the scouts to reveal what was really on the heart of the Israelites:  Bitterness, Ungratefulness, and the root cause of all their problems: unbelief. 

The Israelites were sentenced to die in the wilderness because they didn't believe any of God's promises.

I am willing to admit on this blog that God used me encounter with the scouts to reveal what was really in my heart: bitterness, ungratefulness, envy, and unbelief.

More Negatives than positive

Out of the 12 scouts that explored the promised land: 10 people were negative, and only 2 people were positive.

I am willing to go out on a limb here and say we encounter more negative people on our journey than we do positive people.  We will always have people are eager to tell us how we are wrong, how bad off we are, and how things will not work our for us. 

The scouts found in Numbers 13 were definitely focused on the negative.  They came back with the bountiful fruit and talked about the land flowing with milk and honey, but they didn't stop there.  Instead they decided to concentrate on all of the negative parts of the report

²⁷ This was their report to Moses: “We entered the land you sent us to explore, and it is indeed a bountiful country—a land flowing with milk and honey. Here is the kind of fruit it produces. ²⁸ But the people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified. We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak! ²⁹ The Amalekites live in the Negev, and the Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites live in the hill country. The Canaanites live along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea^[a] and along the Jordan Valley.”

What's even more troubling is that they hadn't even gotten attacked by these giants, but yet they were already predicting gloom and doom.  Nothing had even happened yet and they were already defeated and stomped on like grasshoppers!

³² So they spread this bad report about the land among the Israelites: “The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. ³³ We even saw giants^[b] there, the descendants of Anak. Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought to.

They didn't waste any time sharing the bad news with the Israelites and the people immediately fell into despair because report confirmed what the people already really thought.  God brought them out into the wilderness to die and there was no Promised Land.

Revealing what's truly in my heart

I always figured that the Israelites wandered in the wilderness because they allowed the scouts to scare them out of their promise.  That's true to a certain extent, but God knew these people and he knew that deep down they didn't believe there was any promised land. God had heard all of their complaints and Moses warned them that their complaints were really against God.  God knew what was really on these people's hearts

God used the scouting mission to REVEAL and to SAY what was really in their hearts: Unbelief.  He allowed them to dig their own grave (literally)

I have to say that this past week, I've been dealing with my own report and I reacted much the way of the Israelites.  I couldn't even get mad at anybody else but myself because God truly revealed what my innermost thoughts were.

Bitterness

I would say that I have quite a bit of bitterness in my heart.  It seems that whatever I do is never enough.  I always try to do work harder and do more, but it never seems to be enough.  Several times this week I've thought:  Why do I even try to work so hard and nothing ever seems to change? 

Envy

This is a tough one to admit, but yes I do get envious of people whose lives all seem to fall in place.  I think to myself, "Why is my life like this?  Nothing is going right.  I try to be a good Christian.  I read my Bible, I pray every day, I tithe, I attend church faithfully, I try to help others, and yet I look around and I'm still in the same state.  This or that should be mine"

Unbelief

This was the root cause of the Israelites problem.  This is also the root cause of my problem.  I came to the realization that one of the reason that I was so affected by the scouts this week was because:

• I don't really believe God has any type of good plan for my life
• I'm still in the same state and I don't seem to be any closer to the promise than I was before
• I believe that I am out here waiting to be disappointed and humiliated
• Despite everything that has happened, I don't believe and I second guess everything.
• I don't believe that I am good enough in the first place and this is all proof of it being true

Can I say that it was a relief to get these things off of my chest?  I feel like once it's out in the open, God will help you to overcome these thoughts.  

I'm out here in the wilderness to do battle with these demons and the only way I can fight them is if I face them head on.

Shutting out the toxic and negative voices

This past week I spent a lot of time crying and confessing to God about these things that were revealed in my heart.  

The enemy has convinced me for so long that I have to work harder and do more to receive anything, but it will never be enough because I am not good enough.  He also has me convinced that it doesn't matter in the end because there is no promised land for me because of who I am and who I am not.

Toxic and Negative People

I realize that some people in my life are toxic.  The majority of their interactions with me are put-downs and saying negative things to me.  I had a little experiment for a few days where I just went silent, and realized that I didn't hear anything negative about myself or any sort of put down.  It doesn't matter what it is, they always have something negative to say.

I realize that much of what people say has nothing to do with you, but how they feel about themselves and I also think you have to consider the source.  I am in a season of life where I am feeling vulnerable and weak, and I've found that while I don't take these criticisms and put downs to heart some of it feeds that deep down message Satan has put on my heart:

Nobody will ever want you because you aren't someone people can love.

You don't deserve it anyway and that's why it has never happened for you and why things don't work out for you in any arena of your life.  That's why you're always disappointed.

I did not ask God to remove the negative and toxic people from my life.  I asked for God to change ME.  I asked for grace to STAND and know these are lies.  I prayed for what He's doing in my life to shine through and to shut the toxic people up that way.  

Create in Me a Clean Heart O God

I prayed that prayer several times this week:  Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me. 

My spirit is not right.  It's filled with bitterness, envy, unbelief, doubt, and fear.  I want God to remove these things from my heart and replace them with: love, hope, and faith.

This wilderness experience is no joke, but I am open and receptive to being changed.  I asked God to change me during this wilderness time so I can receive his promises and he is delivering in a mighty way.

I am SO glad that God is so much more merciful than he was back in the Old Testament because not only did he kill those 10 negative scouts, but he told Moses to give the Israelites a message.

Now tell them this: ‘As surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very things I heard you say. ²⁹ You will all drop dead in this wilderness! Because you complained against me, every one of you who is twenty years old or older and was included in the registration will die. ³⁰ You will not enter and occupy the land I swore to give you. The only exceptions will be Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun.

Yikes!  I don't want to end up like the lies that Satan has placed in my spirit.  I am so thankful for a merciful God!

To God be the Glory

Amen