Live from the Wilderness! Hard Truth: #1- FInding out what is really important: Being a Servant

Oh man....I guess God isn't playing with me this year.  I was only a few days into 2014 when the deconstruction began.

If knew I was in the wilderness, but I didn't expect things to start happening so quickly!  But see...this is partly my fault because I told God to have his way with me during this time.  Show me where I need to change, take me apart, and make me who I need to be in order to live in victory.

I just wish it wasn't so ugly.

Or maybe I do

Wasn't that the point ???

I thought about something I wrote a few days ago, I said "Other than the people I've helped this experience wasn't worth it."  I thought about that statement and realized what I said.  Over the last 8 years I have had the honor and privilege of working with some awesome people.  Some of the stories people tell about how I've made an IMPACT on their lives still have me shaking my head in awe.  I'm just doing what I love to do.

My whole purpose in life is to make an impact right?  Well then why don't I think it was worth it?

Materialism and Status Climbing

I don't think it was worth it because there wasn't a financial pay off AND I ended up no better off than when I first started in terms of my position. I am mainly motivated by accomplishment and success.  Neither of those things have occurred in this position when I look at financial success and position.

BUT I have had a chance to experience what most people spend their entire lives searching for:  Purpose and Meaning.

Our former associate Pastor preached an amazing sermon before he left to pastor his own church.  He said the Lord told him not to go there seeking status and a position, but to be a SERVANT.  Get down in the trenches where it's messy and ugly and then God would lift him up into the right position.  That's what God's word teaches us in the book of James.

James 4:10

Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up in honor.

 My Promotion was a Failure

I took my promotion because I wanted a title and more money.  I got neither.  You know what else I didn't get?  I didn't get any honor or praise.  In fact, my entire tenure was a miserable failure.  I'm not exaggerating either.  I resigned because my performance was so poor that I most likely would have been fired or asked to resign sooner or later.

I'm not used to failure AT ALL, but when I voluntarily resigned it didn't bug me like it should have.  It was the right thing to do.  I realize that is not the context in which I belonged.  I belong out serving the people.  I don't belong behind a desk with carrots dangled in front of me trying to get me to bite.

What's funny is that I don't feel bad about it being a failure.  I think that's the whole grace thing kicking in because in the past I would have beat myself up about it.  Now I just realize that it isn't for me and instead of trying to take the easy way out, I have to step out on faith.

What is Really Important: Serving

Serving others is what's really important and not self service.  I'm happiest when I'm working with clients, leading a class, or encouraging someone.  I am a leader, but not in the "managerial sense".  I'm a leader who actually can make an IMPACT.

Being  a Servant: Matthew 20:25-26

But Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them.

But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant,

I once got feedback that I was more of a friend than a leader.  I think this was supposed to be a criticism, but considering the source I was glad this person didn't see me as a leader because the way this person led and how I think a person should lead is totally different.

A friend wants the best and will encourage you to keep going when you need to.  A good friend will also let you know when you need to address issues in your life, but ultimately friends want to see you live your best life.  Someone who is self seeking doesn't care if you live your best life.  They just want what's best for them.

Coming to Grips with being a servant

Being a servant isn't glamorous.  In fact being in the trenches is messy and ugly, but the work is well worth it when people tell you how much of an IMPACT you have made on their lives.

Let me be clear: I am not abandoning my goals to grow financially and in position, but the thought process needs to change.  I need to have the goal of reaching as many people as I can to help them empower and change their lives.  Financial growth and position will be the overflow.

  
I am seeking financial growth and other changes because I am going to be adequately compensated for my worth in my profession.

My focus has now changed to see how many people I can reach with my message of goals, action plans, uplifting, empowerment, and lifestyle change.

I think most of us desire and want to be servants, but with all the distractions of materialism and commercialism it seems like a waste of time and effort.

Serving in Relationships

I think this plays a role in the idea of relationships as well.  Most go into relationships seeing what they can get out of it.  I am the first to admit, I'm not willing to be in a one-sided relationship where the woman has to put all of their dreams and ambitions on hold to serve a man.  This is one of the reasons I was anti relationship/marriage for so long.

This is exactly what is programmed into little girl's heads by society and the media at large.  Ask yourself why people like the Kardashians and  all of these other vapid women are being crammed down our girls throats.   This is on purpose because as women become more aware of their larger purpose, society wants to shut them down by emphasizing that if women have any other goals besides looking pretty and finding a man then they will be foreveralone.  Sadly our young men and women are buying into it.  Even people my age are buying into it!

I am standing firm in what I have been called to do and while I do feel that both people should serve each other, I believe that neither person should have to sacrifice their purpose or compromise who they are to be in a relationship.  Sadly as we have seen throughout history, it is the women who are the ones to sacrifice their purpose and then wonder why they are unfulfilled.

Ok I totally went off on a tangent there, but the point is:  I'm willing to serve in a relationship, just not at the expense of my own purpose and calling. It's too big to put on the back burner and if truly ordained by God I will not have to.

Life in the Wilderness: Truth #1: Realizing What is Really Important:  Being a Servant

To God be the Glory,

Amen