Perspective Change: Brother Bad News It's not you...It's me

Brother Bad News. 

I've talked about Brother Bad News on this blog and how I just was so wrapped up in trying to chase him down that I lost all sense of reality. Brother Bad News meets EVERY SINGLE PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS criteria on my list.  EVERY SINGLE ONE.   He symbolized all that I hated about being single:  rejection, no cure for hormones, and so forth.

I called him Brother Bad News but I know that he isn't Bad News.  As a matter of fact, I know he is a nice guy and probably one I would totally get along with if I would turn down my hormones.  He has to be nice since he didn't curse me out after how I acted last year.  I just called him Brother Bad News because whenever he comes around, it's all bad news for me.

I have started seeing him  around again.  The first two times I saw him I completely ignored him.  Not because I was angry, but because I didn't trust myself not to let my hormones take over again and tackle him to the ground.  This week I decided that I wasn't going to ignore him anymore.  I need to face this lesson head on.

Consider Other People's feelings

I am not going to get all into what happened, but I allowed my hormones and frustration with not making any progress get the best of me which caused me to meltdown on this poor man.  Looking back on it, I realized I was completely out of line.

During this episode, I never once thought about his feelings.  I don't know his story and I don't know what he was going through.  All I could see was that I was being rejected yet again and I was sick of it AND he was Hot like Fire.  This is very wrong.  Being so inwardly focused, all I could see was rejection.  I didn't care about his feelings.

My friend asked me how I would feel if someone did to me what I did to him.  I told her that I would feel uncomfortable and think the person didn't even care.

Conviction City

Being Functional = Present and Connected

If you recall, one of my revelations in the wilderness is that if I am going to be in a relationship then I need to be functional.  I need to be present and connected.  Being present and connected means considering the other person's feelings.   

If you're present and not just focused on yourself, then you will get a sense of the other person's energy and proceed from there.  

If you're connected into the relationship and not simply inwardly focused, then you will know when to turn down.  Being connected with other people means that you consider their feelings and not just your own.

I am headed toward Functional Boulevard

Perspective Change:  Rethinking Rejection

This isn't the first time i've taken a leap of faith on this blog and I am going to take a big one right now.  I don't believe this had anything to do with rejection.  Because I have faced lots of rejection in my life, I look at everything through the lenses of rejection.  I expect to be rejected and then it happens.  I also am so focused on not getting rejected that I try to control everything so I minimize the chances of that happening.  

That's not really working for me.

What if I went into relationships with that same Can't Fail attitude I've talked about for 2014?  What if I went into it with that same positive expectation that I have for my career?  We all know that the relationship area has been barren and dry for me, but what if I went into relationships thinking about how I could serve, uplift, and love someone rather than trying to control rejection (which doesn't work anyway)

Sister Bad News

I did realize that the problem wasn't this nice guy, but the problem is me.  He's not weird, crazy, or playing with my emotions as I angrily decided when he wasn't giving me what I wanted. 

I was demanding, hormonal, and inconsiderate.  He wasn't the problem...I was.

I'm Sister Bad News

Get it Right

After talking to my friend, I decided that I owe this gentleman an apology.  I am going to apologize for my behavior last year.  I was wrong and I can be woman enough to admit it.  

Now as we all know this man fits all of my physical attractiveness criteria.  With that being said, I will not be lingering too long because I am not going to fall into temptation.  I have also told myself no analyzing, projecting, or any of that nonsense.

Things are different now.  I will apologize and move on.

I am no longer going to try to MAKE things happen.  If something is meant to happen then it will regardless of my big mouth.  Not in your own strength, but by his spirit.

Love wins!  I believe that 100% and whatever God has for me nobody will be able to stop it.  

To God be the Glory