Level Up: Breakthrough

God gave me a word for this month:  Breakthrough

I have my big Cleansing Streams retreat at the end of the month and while I know that's about to be more craziness, I keep repeating it to myself several times a day.  Breakthrough.

Breakthrough requires PUSHING THROUGH THE DIRT.

You cannot have breakthrough without being committed.

Commitment

"The reason you aren't further along isn't because of devils, witches, and all that. It's because you're not committed to anything in life." - T.D. Jakes

That's a paraphrase from a TD sermon snippet we heard in our Cleansing Streams class.  

Oof. 
That one cut me pretty deep.

I've written about my recent lack of enthusiasm, effort, and commitment but the truth is that I've always struggled with commitment.  

I was reading a book by Suzanne Vehnker where she said we should be satisficers.  

Meaning we're satisfied with what we have and we  stop trying to think there's always something better.  If you're a satisficer, then We  will stop the cultural pursuit of. "There's always something better and something more so I don't want to be committed." 

 I don't know if it's a defense mechanism or what but  part of my lack of commitment has to do with unrealistic expectations. Once I inevitably find a problem I'm ready to move on.

I'm always one foot in and one foot out and while sometimes that is okay (Like the business community that I dropped.  While I was committed while I was in, I knew when it was time to move on.) 

I know this is much is true:  

I won't go to the next level not being committed to whatever I am going for.

I was supposed to start the Grow Track at our church last week and I talked myself right on out of it.  It would mean being committed to a church fellowship and I didn't want to do that again.  It means if I'm committed, then I will be accountable and I get the feeling that I wont be a pew warming this time.  AT ALL

Delayed obedience is still disobedience..and I was definitely disobedient because I was supposed to do that this month.

Getting my Usain Bolt on in church

I have said that when x,y,z happens, then I will run victory laps around the sanctuary.  If you've been following me for any amount of time, then I am sure you can guess what the x,y,z is.

Well at this month's Healing Night, one of the teachers from our class, Jose said he heard the word, "Barren".  Now the day before I was on the blog talking about barrenness and all that.

It was just another sign for me that the Lord was indeed in this place.

Then the worship team got to singing about, "Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom! I'm Free...I'm free...indeed!" (Song at the end of the post) 

Well the next thing I know, I took off running around the sanctuary.

I think this happened for several reasons

•  I believe x,y,z has already happened in Jesus' name
• This was throwing off the last remaining chains from my legalistic upbringing.  Running around the church was definitely on the list of sins and you were most definitely going to Hell for doing something like that.  Not decent and in order
• It was symbolic of me not caring what people think as I go to this next level.  Putting my pride aside.  I don't care about looking stupid.
• Worship needs to go to the next level. 

The Lord will see to it

In that last part of the Abraham and Isaac story, check out what the Message Version says:

13 Abraham looked up. He saw a ram caught by its horns in the thicket. Abraham took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.14 Abraham named that place God-Yireh (God-Sees-to-It). That’s where we get the saying, “On the mountain of God, he sees to it.” 

X,Y,Z isn't looking too promising right now.  As a matter of fact, it's looking pretty dead on the altar and I have not a clue what will happen next but as I tell myself:

The Lord will see to it!

There is NO WAY I have made this all up

I'm going to keep pushing up to get my breakthrough and.....I'm going to sign up for Grow Track.  I wrote it here so now I have to do it.