40 Day Prayer Challenge: The Fun and Games of Not Knowing....

Since it's Lenten season, I'm doing the 40 Day Draw the Circle Prayer Challenge.  I enjoy this prayer challenge because I learn something each time I do it.  I also feel like I get more courageous each time I do this project.

This year's Prayer Objectives

• My prayer is that God's glory will be revealed
• Circling this Husband that ain't showed up yet and praying for him to become the man he needs to be

Not even 3 days into this year's challenge, doubts started creeping into my head.

"WHAT are you thinking?"  

Maybe you should just leave well enough alone." 

" I don't know HOW this will all work out...I just don't know.  I don't know but I don't think I made it all up either."

These sentiments apply to every area of my life whether it is professional or personal.  

Not even 2 days in and I was already making up stories and planning my ultimate failure. I also began to feel sorry for myself.  "Why do I always get the short end of the stick"

After about a few hours of this, I finally had enough.

I realized I was being stupid.  I also realized that it was absolutely stupid to feel sorry for myself. I can remember feeling very disappointed about something and then finding out that it wasn't a disappointment AT ALL.  

Needing more information is a result of Pride

Pride makes us think highly of ourselves.

I am prideful.  I think I'm smart and can figure things out...if I had more information.  Yesterday I started thinking:  "If I just had more information, then I could..."  I could what?  Try to manipulate the situation?  

That would ruin the whole God gets all the Glory effect so I don't need anymore information.  I just need to shut up and keep it moving.

If I don't live it, then I cannot teach it.  I'd be a fraud

Last week I went to a workshop with an internationally known speaker. He told us that we cannot tell others to do things that we aren't doing ourselves.  If we want people to invest in us, then we have to invest in our own development.

If I want to tell people to take risks, do crazy, see what happens when you don't have a clue, and be outrageous then I have to do those things.

How can I teach others to do what I myself am unwilling to do?

So I am willing to take risks, do things that don't make sense, follow my intuition, take risks, make investments that I'm not sure will pay off, and put myself out there without knowing for sure how things will turn out but ultimately believing that God will be glorified in the end

The Fun and Games of Not Knowing

This year I said I wanted more Excitement and Adventure.  Well what could be more exciting and adventurous than not knowing where everything is going.  It's leading somewhere but I don't know where.

But that is all apart of the Fun and Games of Not Knowing

So I don't know...That's my honest answer.  I may not know for a while.  That's okay.

We shall see what happens!