Daniel Fast: Learning to Discipline Myself

This morning I woke up and just wasn't feeling my quiet time with the Lord.  I did some but I just wasn't as eager to get it going.  I browsed facebook and other websites.  Then I remembered that my friend in my head Heather Lindsey had done a teaching on Distractions: Learning to Discipline Yourself.  I left my phone upstairs and then went down to listen to the teaching and the Q&A session.

I was blessed by her teaching.  You will remember that when Ingrid gave me that word over at Shiloh Church she talked about distractions.  How I will be so focused that all these distractions will go away.

Over the past few weeks I've learned how fitness is a distraction when it begins to monopolize all of my time and thoughts and not wanting to do anything that will interfere with my fitness routine because I am worried about getting fat.  Of course I also know that whenever I see someone who tickles my hormones, then I also get distracted in fantasies and all of that.

Well how exactly does one discipline herself in this season.  I have several thoughts.

• Focus on the Mission
• Place things in their proper perspective
• Deal with disordered eating/thinking and Body Dysmorphia Disorder
• Stop focusing on my hormones

Focus on the Mission

As of Friday May 1, I will no longer be employed by a commercial gym.  I will officially be an independent contractor and will no longer have job security.  It's all on me and right now it's all about faith.  I'm stepping out and saying this is a God idea and I'm TRUSTING him for provision.  If I was led here, then I am certainly not going to die on the vine out here.  True it may be challenging and difficult but I will not implode.

In this season I believe that God is calling me to write.  I have a vision to write books that help, uplift, and empower people.  Right now I'm reading, researching, and writing every single day whether it's blogs, journals, or even as of today writing lessons.  I'm also in the process of developing a healthy lifestyle program and have given the first drafts to people as beta testers.  

Right now all I'm doing is writing but the mission is to reach as many people as I can.  One of the verses in our Bible Study this week has been Proverbs 16:3 - Commit your actions to the Lord and you will succeed. 

The Mission is to help people and the more focused I am on that, the harder it is to get sucked in by Facebook because there are bigger fish to fry.

Place Things in their Proper Perspective

On Social Media there is something called Motivational Monday.  The majority of posts center around people posting pictures of their butts and abs.  How is this motivational?  For whom is it motivation? You?  

Yesterday a woman at church prayed for the region of Nepal because she had just left there not too long ago as an expert in retrofitting for seismic activity.  What they feared would happen actually did occur with the devastating earthquake.  Hearing stories about people who barely have anything and sharing what they do have with each other as they sleep outside is motivation.

Am I saying Fitness is bad? No but in the grand scheme of things it is fluff.  To think that you're really doing something for the world by posting endless selfies and beastmode tags is just a skewed perspective.

After this fast, I can honestly say that I will be turning in my card to this fitfam nonsense.  Maybe I will post selfies every once in a while or sometimes progress pictures but I am done with placing fitness and such on such a high pedestal that I completely lose perspective of reality.

Deal with Disordered Thinking, Eating, and BDD

During this time away from this fitness scene, I have realized that I do have traces of disordered thinking, eating, and Body Dysmorphia.  I was terrified to do the fast because I was afraid that eating all these carbs and fat would make me fat.  Have I gained weight?  Yes and as of last count it was 2 pounds...(big whoop as most of that is probably water and glycogen).  When I first started my first thoughts were what diet am I going to go on afterward so that I can lose weight?

STOP THE INSANITY!

I need to be healthy and able to teach people how to make good choices.  I can't do this if I'm falling apart behind the scenes being anxious about food.  After the Daniel Fast is over I am going back to my meal plan coupled with instinctive eating because I am tired of food becoming way more of an issue than it needs to be.

As far as body image is concerned, I am heavier than I have been in a while but I don't feel bad about it.  I look back at pictures when I was beating myself up and struggling to stay on plan and it's all so stupid.  I looked fine and even more so there are more important things in life than worrying about eating apples or trail mix!  

I have noticed that I am much happier now that I am staying off of fitness social media, sites, etc. the better I feel.  In the real world people aren't focused on such nonsense.  Also continuing to listen to people who are self loathing constantly pick themselves apart will cause you to start comparing and getting into that mindset as well.  That is also a distraction.

After this 3 weeks, I am really going to make an effort to address this issue in my life

Stop Focusing on My Hormones

Listen I'm human.  We've covered that.  I'm a human who finds men incredibly attractive.  You get where I'm going with this?  Working out in the gym, as much as I do yeah I do see men that tickle my hormones.  While I have not had a Mr. Excitement meltdown in the past 2 years (PRAISE THE LORD!! PROGRESS!) I still get distracted at times.

What I've decided to do with that is to rally be mindful of my behavior such as looking too hard, staying around to look too hard, trying to see if he's paying me any attention.  No more of that stuff. It's disciplining myself to really put a stop to it and let God do what he does when he is ready.

I have to say  this not doing anything and not trying to work for approval is a lot less stressful.  I'm going to kee on it.  Plus with the covenant I figure my choices are limited anyway.  even though I may like how it looks, most likely won't make it past the big vetting process.

Practicing what one of my co workers has termed: Ignore to Score.  Just stop paying attention and obsessing.

Well here we are....an incredibly rich time where there are many lessons learned.

To God be the Glory