Single Sister in the City: Stay in the Race!

I am in a weird place right now.

I'm in a place where I know that I have come too far to turn around and give up, but my destination also looks to be really far away and like I'm not going to make it there any time soon.

This entire week my mantra has been: Stay in the Race!  Don't give up!

He that began a good work in you...

No diggity and No Doubt that there is inner work going on in my life.  I will not dispute that and I am so grateful for that.  I feel that I have made some incredible strides over these past few months and I couldn't be more grateful.  

I used to think that inner work would mean an immediate change in outside circumstances. I have learned that it doesn't quite work that way.  My perspective is different and I see things completely differently than I did last year or even 6 months ago.

Yet many of my circumstances appear to have stayed the same.

Most notably the fact that I am still single with ZERO prospects.  My perspective has changed 180 degrees in this area but my current reality is still in NO MAN'S land.  Literally.

This can get somewhat frustrating.

This is no time for giving up

TD Jakes says that it's when you start swimming towards land, that is when you are ready to give up. I agree with him because I almost feel like saying "What's the use?  I should give up.  Nothing is happening or changing.  You see it's never going to work out!"  Yet there's something in me that won't let me do it.  I just can't give up.

I feel like I have waited too long, placed too much time and effort into this endeavor, and above all else I truly believe the vision God has given me and I want to be obedient to his will.  It would be a tragedy if I went outside of God's will just because I couldn't stand it any longer and threw in the towel.  How many people would lose out on what God wants to do through my life if I decided to give up and throw in the towel.

This week I have told myself: You can't give up.  I don't care what it looks like and what's not happening.  You must stay in this race.  You must finish it.

This is not a time for giving up, but it's a time for holding on because I don't know what God is doing and it is NOT for me to try and figure out.   I am in prayer as He leads me, but that's all I know.  I just know what I am being led to pray for and there's no judgment or conclusion. 

Not all about me...

Right now I believe there is spirtual warfare going on.  Remember this isn't just about me.  I believe there is a spiritual battle occurring for my husband's life at this point and time.  Sounds crazy but I believe it to be true.  I remember praying about that during the prayer challenge last year.  The enemy knows that this man has a powerful gift and he wants to see him waste it or use it in the wrong way.  If I give up then he may go the wrong way, Satan wins, and then what?  Another one bites the dust.

Giving up is the easy way out....I want to see God's glory

Giving up is easy in the short term but painful in the long run.  Shattered dreams, wondering what could have been, wallowing in the mire of anger and bitterness are all the fruits of giving up.

I don't want that to be my life.

Yes it is hard to keep on going when you don't know what's going to happen, why there's silence, and wondering if you made the whole thing up.

But there's something that keeps me from giving up.

When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead he told Martha in John 11:40

Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believed?

I completely receive that word in my life.  I want to see God's glory so I must believe.  Belief means you keep going.  It means that you just keep pushing even when it seems pointless and hopeless like I'm sure Mary and Martha felt about their poor brother.  He was sick and died for heavens sake.  That sure sounds like you should give up, but they had a chance to see God's glory because they believed in Jesus.

I firmly believe that if I stand fast and believe in the vision that God has given me that I too will see God's glory

Old Friends Discouragement, Doubt, and Fear begone

I've noticed the persepctive change as it relates to discourgement, doubt, and fear

I do get discouraged sometimes that it feels as though I'm treading water, but I also begin to realize how far I have come and what lies ahead.  It's enough to keep me going.  Also I have stopped grumbling and complaining so much and focusing on what's good, true, and praise worthy rather can coming up with worst case scenarios

Doubt does rear his ugly head once in a while.  I do wonder sometimes if I've made it all up, but as people say I know that I know that I know.  I didn't make this up at all.  I do have doubts sometimes that things are going to change and that it really will work out for the glory of God, but then I think about how all of these other visions I've had have all come to fruition.

This is the big one.  This is the one that I have had no success with Ever.  This is truly the barren badlands so I know that God has this in his divine order to receive all glory

There's the whole fear element of: What if?  I think about Jesus' words to his disciples
"Why are you so afraid?  Why do you have such little faith?"  Why am I so afraid?  Is it because I don't trust God completely?  Do I think that I can do a better job?

God has spoken the word over and over again that it will be by his spirit and not in my own strength.

Stay in the Race!

Nobody who drops out of a race has a chance at winning.  I am determined to win and that can only happen if I do my best, finish strong, and STAY IN THE RACE.

I am staying in and determined to cross the finish line

To God be the Glory