Week 3 A Confident Heart Online Bible Study: Changing my perspective

In order for me to Move Forward with my life, I know I need to shift my perspective from fear to faith. God KNOWS I need a perspective change.  

The hurts of my past have led me to:

• expect disappointment
•  constantly fear rejection (so why even try at all)
•  believe that I'm unwanted
• believe that I am unworthy and not worth loving or staying around for.
• Doubt EVERYTHING and have LITTLE FAITH

Honestly it feels so good to be able to admit this in a public forum.  By being transparent and vulnerable, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I'm so glad I can talk about it now: these deep seeded ideas/thoughts that have held me captive and hostage for so many years.

God wants to change my perspective and this week he has spoken to me through his word to change my thought process and also to encourage me.

During my times with God, He has been addressing my issues through his word.  I have all of these scriptures written down on index cards next to my bed and I read them at least twice a day and I read them on the Bible app on my smartphone throughout the day. These scriptures are what I want my perspective to be.

Expecting Disappointment-  Psalms 112: 7

I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop because I have trained myself to be disappointed.  Even when something good is happening, I try to figure things out so I can be prepared for the let down.  As I said on this blog, one Sunday I was even dreading going to worship for fear that I would be disappointed in all what God was doing.

Perspective Change: I do not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen for I have settled in my mind that God will take care of me.

Fearing Rejection- Luke 11:9 

I always feel that the blessing is for someone else.  I will pray and seek God for his will, but I don't  really believe that it will work out for me.  I feel like God will reject my requests. I can pray for others and it will work out, but my prayers aren't going to make a difference in my life.

I mentioned earlier that I began to pray for my husband during my birthday month of August.  I felt a nudge to start up again for this fourth quarter of 2013.  A few days ago I was tempted to give up, because we are almost to the Holidays and still ZERO PROSPECTS.  COUNT THEM:  ZERO.  This began to  feel like a waste of time until I came to Luke 11:9 during my daily Bible reading and it leapt out on the page for me.

Perspective Change: And so it is with prayer—keep on asking and you will keep on getting; keep on looking and you will keep on finding; knock and the door will be opened. ¹⁰ Everyone who asks, receives; all who seek, find; and the door is opened to everyone who knocks

Believing that I'm unwanted/unworthy - Isaiah 58:11

I feel that my lack of faith makes me unworthy of God's love and direction.  Because I've never been "chosen" by men so to speak I feel like I'm unworthy of love and staying around for.  When I compare myself to others, I feel like there's something wrong with me.  I  feel that the problem is that I'm just not good enough.  

Perspective Change: ¹¹ The Lord will always lead you. He will meet the needs of your soul in the dry times and give strength to your body. You will be like a garden that has enough water, like a well of water that never dries up.

Doubting EVERYTHING and having so LITTLE FAITH - Matt 14:31

Perhaps everything can be summed up in this statement.  Even though I KNOW God is working, I still have doubts.  I think maybe I made it all up and it's all a figment of my imagination, nothing will happen or change, and I will continue to wander in the wilderness.

Perspective Change: At once Jesus put out His hand and took hold of him. Jesus said to Peter, “You have so little faith! Why did you doubt?”

What a convicting statement.   Why did I doubt?  Because I've believed Satan's lies for so long that I've held myself hostage from believing that Jesus CAN change my doom and gloom outlook.  He answered that one too:

Mark 9:23-4 Perspective Change:  "What do you mean if I can?" Jesus asked.  Anything is possible if a person believes!  

The cry of my heart is similar to the Father in this passage.  I DO believe, but help me overcome my unbelief.

BUT....Matthew 9:29

Even though I want my perspective to change and for my life to shift from fear to faith, I still have questions of "BUT WHAT IF I'M WRONG OR WHAT IF???"

The Lord quieted my anxious spirit with this word.

Perspective Change:  [Then he touched their eyes and said] Because of your FAITH it will happen.

I look forward to sharing my testimony of God's faithfulness and deliverance because I've already begun to speak these scriptures out loud during the day to encourage myself when I find myself starting down Disappointment and Doom/Gloom Boulevard.

I still find it so incredible that the Lord is feeding me EXACTLY what I need WHEN I need it.  It's unbelievable.

To God be the Glory.