Pandemic Chronicles #22 No Ego Amigo
One of my Big 5 Goals for 2020 was to Lead a Life Group and I'm happy to say that I accomplished that goal alongside my two friends Marques and Sam (Marques is in the Backward Red Hat and Sam is seated up front in the Blue)
I've really enjoyed being part of a Life Group especially during this Covid-19 Sheltering in Place season where we still aren't able to gather together for our regular church services and won't be anytime soon. (In December The Bay Area went back into Sheltering In Place mode) so this has been a great opportunity to form connections with smaller groups just like in the book of Acts.
Acts 2:42
42 They were continually and faithfully devoting themselves to the instruction of the apostles, and to fellowship, to [a]eating meals together and to prayers.
Showing up in the arena to be vulnerable...
Our Topic for our last Life Group Session was creating a vision statement. Sam led our group in how to craft our vision statement....and he asked various questions.
One of the questions he asked was: What dream would you regret not achieving
I don't know what came over me to share and I even prefaced my comments by saying, "Geneva from 10 years ago would never say this or admit to this but I would regret not creating my own family.
I didn't stop there.
I told it all including dealing with Fibroids, melting down in the Doctor's office, and how much I would regret not having a family of my own. I ended up crying.
My friend Marques told my friend Ryan to pray for me
Ryan said "That's so crazy because God said to pray for her but I don't know anything about women or fertility but I was reading this today and I think it fits."
Luke 1:45
45 And blessed [spiritually fortunate and favored by God] is she who believed and confidently trusted that there would be a fulfillment of the things that were spoken to her [by the angel sent] from the Lord.”
Perfection.
Marques went on to speak prophetically about how out of barren wombs come powerful people of God. He even said that the camels are on their way. A throwback to the Bishop Garlington sermon about Rebekah and Isaac along with the fact that the road to marriage will follow an irregular route.
We shall see.
That night I was awakened to read about barren Hannah who prayed AT SHILOH and she gave birth to her son Samuel which is translated, "I asked the Lord for him."
Embarrassed, Liberated, and Mortified
I was very embarrassed after revealing that very personal dream and all that has happened around the issue. I was even more embarrassed that I started crying.
However, I did feel liberated. I was actually very vulnerable by something very personal and I let people into a very private place.
When I got home though I was back to being so MORTIFIED that I Wanted to crawl underneath the bed. That's the exact word I used: MORTIFIED. I wondered why I used that word and I decided to look it up.
Check out the other definitions of mortify not relating to embarrassment or shame
: to subdue or deaden (the body, bodily appetites, etc.) especially by abstinence or self-inflicted pain or discomfortmortified his body for spiritual purification
3obsolete : to destroy the strength, vitality, or functioning of
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