40 Day Birthday Prayer Challenge 2019: Doublemindedness

James 1:5-8

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 

7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 

8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do

Tossed and Blown about by the wind

I started off this 40 Day Prayer Challenge full of enthusiasm and expectation.  I believed God was going to do something. 

I expected God to do something.

We're now about 3-4 weeks in and most days I still think this is true but other days I do not.  As we're getting closer and closer to August 17 and nothing has happened, I've started to second guess everything and doubt. 

"I made it all up."
"Why hope if I'm just going to be disappointed."
"Another year where nothing changes"
"It's too late."

Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.

It's quite the emotional roller coaster.  James' description is on the money.  You do feel tossed and blown about by the wind complete with sea sickness.

The worst episode thus far during the challenge happened last week.  A friend of mine posted something very inspiring on her Instagram and I thanked her for posting it because I think it's important to catch people doing something good.

It turned into her encouraging me during this barren season.  I know she struggled with her own issue of barrenness  and God was faithful to her.  I boohooed and cried during our text conversation about waiting, God's faithfulness, his promises being Yes and Amen, and not doubting.

I continued crying as I drove to my Book of Acts Bible Study.

Well I got to the class and Dr. Nina was talking about waiting.  She pulled out all my big waiting scriptures that I love and even had quoted to my friend.

Habakkuk 2:2

Then the Lord said to me,“Write my answer plainly on tablets,    so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.3 This vision is for a future time.    It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently,    for it will surely take place.    It will not be delayed.

Psalm 27:13-14

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
    while I am here in the land of the living.

14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
    Be brave and courageous.

    Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

The consequences of not waiting: Missing Out and Plague

When you read the book of Acts, it says that only 120 people were in the Upper Room to receive the Gift of the Holy Spirit.

Now we know 500 people witnessed Jesus ascending to heaven and telling them about the coming Holy Spirit...so what happened to the other 380 people.

Scripture doesn't say but My guess is that they gave up and went home.  Jesus said the Gift of the Holy Spirit was coming and ten days was just too long without any action so they figured it wasn't going to happen.

Imagine missing out on something exciting like Pentecost because you're too impatient to wait.

Dr. Nina shared the story of one of the biggest fiascoes when people decided they didn't want to wait anymore. 

Exodus 32:1

 When the people saw how long it was taking Moses to come back down the mountain, they gathered around Aaron. “Come on,” they said, “make us some gods who can lead us. We don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses, who brought us here from the land of Egypt.”

When you think about it, this one really takes the cake.  These people had seen so many miracles and exciting things but when Moses was taking too long up on the mountain, they decided to move on from him and Yahweh and build their own god....a Golden Calf.  As a result, God sent a plague and a bunch of people died.

That is crazy right?  But we do the exact same thing because i tell you not even 2 minutes after I got into my car after this great and encouraging class where we talked about waiting and telling my friend that encouraged me earlier about it, I was already sowing seeds of doubt, discord, and worst case scenarios.  It was so bad that I burst into tears as I left the parking lot.

Not by Power, Not by Might, by your spirit

If there's been one thing that's been said over and over and over and over again it's this scripture from Zechariah 4:6

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.

The New Living Translation says: Not by force.

Well I am telling you that I am at the point of wanting to do things in my own strength.  I want to try and make something happen but I'm not going to do it because it's the equivalent of giving up.  I refuse to give up.

Saying that the only way my prayers will be answered is by the Holy Spirit concedes full control to the Holy Spirit.  When I jumped off that pole at the retreat, I said that I was letting go of control and trying to force my way in.

This is a move

We are here for you.  Come and do what you do.  We need a move.  This is a move. - Tasha Cobbs-Leonard, We need a move.

Oh I know something was moving last week because I started that waking up early, in the middle of the night, and the crying.  Seeing that this is the same pattern during cleansing streams, Daniel Fast, and the Fast before the Altar, I know something is up.  My friend who is an elder at our church told me she thinks this is a going to be a short time of waiting because she can feel it. 

So we're moving...It's just that the move doesn't look anything like I thought it would but does it ever?

No.  God gives us strategy and we do it his way because we want to see him glorified.  I'll share a little of mine with you.

Strategy: Stand Still, Don't need to fight, and now Don't say anything!

A couple weeks ago God led me to Joshua 6.  We all know the story of the people marching around the walls of Jericho but this verse was of particular interest to me and I kept reading it over and over again.

. 10 “Do not shout; do not even talk,” Joshua commanded. “Not a single word from any of you until I tell you to shout. Then shout!” 11 So the Ark of the Lord was carried around the town once that day, and then everyone returned to spend the night in the camp.

So as part of my strategy I am not even supposed to SAY ANYTHING!!!

So far we have

• Stand Still
• You don't need to fight

And now Don't say Anything

Oh my goodness!! It's bad enough that I am not doing anything or making any moves but not talking?  OH MY GOODNESS.   It's been torture y'all but this is what I am supposed to be doing and I am for sure not doing this in my own strength because it would have been a wrap a long time ago!

Prophetically Speaking: The truth will be exposed soon

I got this during my time of prayer this morning.  I said I wonder what that means.  Don't know...guess we will all find out!!