52 Days to Rebuild: Let it Go and Go For It!

I was blessed to attend the WKND retreat sponsored by the Young Adults at Shiloh Church.  

As I shared on the blog, I was hesitant about attending and didn't want to attend at first because I wasn't feeling the group I had attended at Shiloh.

My first instinct was to say "Forget It" and move on but then I also shared on this blog how I was burdened to do something to help because I wasn't feeling the group and I found out that I  Wasn't alone.

First let me say I was so impressed and blessed by my friend Marques and his wife Michaela's leadership with the Shiloh Young Adults.  Their group of young adults were serving, stepping out into their gifts, and on fire for their mission.  I loved seeing the fruits of the ministry.

What made it so impressive is that these were the true young adults, many looking to be under 30.

HOWEVER 

I did notice some tremendous areas of opportunities in other areas and I believe that is why God had me attend to observe, build influence, and connect with people that I want to build with.  I'm excited to get moving with them. 

Before I was ready to storm the gates, fire the people that are not up to par in my eyes, and take over.  I realize that isn't my job and that's not my call.  My call at this moment is to influence and build relationships.  God has the people in charge that he wants in charge.  

Before all of that though, I have been called to get my own situation and my mind right.  

Here are the areas I'm tuned into for my own life and in my leadership

Focus, Direction, Discipline, and order.

Getting Transparent and Vulnerable

At the Retreat I shared some of my private hopes and dreams such as getting married and having children.  I even shared about my Fibroid Surgery and how I was floored when Dr. Medina Pullings said Fibroids Gone. 

After I shared I thought:  "Well maybe I shouldn't have shared that because what if it doesn't happen?  I'll be so embarrassed."

Then I thought: "You need to start sharing the journey and the process.  You believe it's already done right?"

Yes. I do.

On Instagram I've been sharing the journey of these 52 Days.  I'm opening up about these personal hopes and dreams I have that were dead and now are alive.  I'm also actively praying for that which I believe is already done.  

I realize many times I don't want to because I'm afraid of what people will think.  One of the things I said I wanted to let go of at the retreat was ego.  

My ego is why I don't share. I don't want people to think I'm desperate and pathetic.  I also don't want to admit on some level that I desire companionship and need another human being.  

This is ridiculous because we were designed at humans to desire companionship.

Really...at this point it's 2 months before my 38th Birthday.  Who even cares?  I am ready for some ACTION. I am Scared to death to hope it works out but I am at least ready to at least get in the game.

I also finally admitted to an active Shiloh member that this is a thing.

I was so embarrassed to admit the truth that it took me two days to get it out to my friend.  When I did I was relieved.  It's been 15 months and I finally told an active shiloh member. I had told someone else but she hasn't been attending. 

I couldn't figure out why I was so embarrassed but I think admitting the truth makes it more real and allows me to build trust with the Shiloh Community.  This is a very vulnerable thing for me so I was happy that I did it.

Guess what else?  I finally reconnected with the fabulous Ingrid and told her all about my success and how thankful I was for her.

Letting it Go and Go for it

Shiloh has to be the most crazy church ever.  I can't think of another church where you climb telephone poles and jumping off and then later on that night people jumped off the stage as a leap of faith..

I had to do this.   It was symbolic of this next volume of life.  I'm not going to force anything and at the same time I'm going to go for it.

When you challenge yourself and do scary things, your confidence and self esteem grows.  

What's Next

Well I wrote down that we are going to launch something by the end of the summer at Shiloh.  I don't know what it is but I am going to launch something.

I started out very judgmental before the retreat because I just didn't like some of the folks' vibe but then I began to feel compassion toward them.  

You know sometimes people have good intentions and well... I'll leave that alone.

I want to state this on the blog for some reason but sometimes we sense something is "off" with someone and we shouldn't overlook that especially when they've been highlighted to us by more than one person.  

I feel as though as I was warned and while I will treat people kindly, gracefully, and with love my lioness instincts are on guard and alert.

I felt the need to state that publicly.

Leading up to the retreat God kept leading me back to Jude v4 and this business about false teachers.  

4 I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

Now I am not accusing anybody of being a false teacher but I kept going back to this scripture before the retreat.  I think we must be on high alert against these people.  People think false teachers will come in like Donald Trump and be bombastic and say blatantly false things. Nope...They will be way more smooth and worm their way in.

We really have to be grounded in truth and know our Bible so when they start in with deception we'll get them right on out of town.

I will not allow them to lead our young adults astray.  I will not allow it.  Period.

Here are my points for this Summer

• Focus
• Direction
• Discipline/Order

Let's Go Get it and let it come....