Recommended Read: Keep Showing Up, Karen Ehman

This was not the newlywed life I’d wanted. Marriage was supposed to be magical. Fulfilling. Fairytale-like. Not the stress-inducing, bawl-my-eyes-out, fresh disappointment I was currently drowning in. Weren’t we supposed to be crazy in love? What in the world went wrong? - Karen Ehman, Keep Showing Up

I think for those who have been eternally single we have visions that marriage is: Non Stop Romance Songs, Dramatic Soliloquies, and non stop passion in the bedroom.

That's what they do on TV  and on Instagram right?

This is a shallow and unrealistic version of marriage but sadly that's what sold to us. 

I think on the flip side of that, being a part of a generation that grew up with single parents, divorced parents, and/or dysfunctional relationships we may have a negative view of marriage.  We think it will compromise our freedom, weigh us down, and it probably won't work anyway so why even bother?

I was a mix of both of these attitudes and both are wrong.

At the time of this blog post, I am not married nor am I dating anybody but I still decided to read The book as part of the Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study.  My intention is to be married (sooner rather than later) so why not pick up some wisdom from those who are already in the arena. 

I appreciated Karen's honesty that sometimes as a wife you want to bail.  Sometimes you've had enough and you want to hand in your resignation papers but in the Kingdom you're signed up for a lifetime commitment.

How do you keep it going when humans are gonna human?

KEEP SHOWING UP!!

Action Items

What I liked about this book (and the study) were the real life challenges and action items.  As a single woman I really could see potential pitfalls like not getting immediate results or seeing the fruits of my prayers without wanting credit for them.

At the end of the day when you speak life and encouragement into your partner, it's for them AND it's for you. Your service and submission to your spouse is out of obedience and love for God.  You're not doing it for the praise from your spouse but for the glory of God.

That will be hard for me because I Want acknowledgement. Just being honest.

Marriage is Work and it's about service

I have never met any fruitful married couple that did not say it was hard work.  You have to put in the work to have a successful marriage in the same way you have to put in the work to have a successful career.  Isn't it funny that we put more emphasis on one of these and people are more miserable than ever?!

Things that make you go Hmmmm....

Marriage is work and both people have to put in the work if the marriage is going to be successful.

Reading this book I realized that I have to look at marriage as Service or otherwise it's going to become yet another accomplishment/something I check off the list.  I don't want that to happen so for me I have to view marriage as service.  The more I focus on serving, the less I focus on making it all about me.

It's also important to realize that the merging of two souls and two lives will be difficult and darn near impossible without supernatural help (for me at least).  This is why I am glad I have Jesus praying for me daily, the Holy Spirit Guiding me, and the Bible for divine instruction..otherwise I would probably last a month or less!!

The Goal of Marriage 

The mission of marriage is to make the relationship of Christ and the church come alive. -Karen Ehman

The Goal of Marriage is to refine us and make us more like Jesus. Talk about learning to extend grace to another person when you live with them 24/7 and also laying down your life for someone else and the gospel.

This generation needs to see what healthy marriages and stable families can do for a society.  

Definitely a recommended read for all the singles!