Proverbs 31 OBS Why Her? Week 4 - We didn't do anything wrong

This week's truth was refreshing: I didn't do anything wrong.

I grew up with legalistic teaching and sadly with that type of teaching you think every time something doesn't go your way it's because you did something wrong.

I have had to shed my legalistic viewpoints in the last few years.  I thought that by following some sort of self imposed rules that I would receive what I wanted.  Even after denouncing legalism, I still found myself with a performance oriented religious mindset.

Sold a Bill of Goods

I remember a few years ago I was just incensed because I felt like I was following these self imposed rules and I didn't feel as if I was getting anywhere.

I looked around at people who I didn't believe were as "HOLY" as I was and they seemed to have everything!  Money, Marriage, a great life.  All the things I wanted and all the things I didn't have.  I just didn't understand why people who were living all kinds of crazy had what I wanted.  I felt like I had been sold a bill of goods and the truth is I had been sold a bill of goods.

Sidebar: This is also why I have an issue with these singles ministries.  They tell the women that if they pray, fast, and attend church more then God will bless them with a husband.  This isn't true at all because why is it that  the men don't have to do much of anything but show up and they'll find someone.  

 

The jig usually starts to be up when younger women look around and see their futures in women who are in their 50's and 60's who have never been married but are in church every time the door opens and are often broke, overworked, tired, and bitter.

It's all a bill of goods and that's why women start to believe they did something wrong when they don't receive the knight in shining armor despite being in church 24/7 and being in every ministry.  

I didn't do anything wrong...

A few years ago I woke up and realized that these self imposed rules were just that and had nothing to do with God and had given me a superiority complex to believe that I was deserving of certain things because I had followed these rules.

I also realized that I hadn't done anything wrong and my punishment was to be an old maid.

I realized the issue was my attitude and my mindset.  Once I realized that I wasn't being punished but it was my bad because I hadn't bothered to develop myself in certain areas, my outlook changed.

Comparison is at the root

Once I started comparing what others had and I didn't had is when I started to believe I was being unfairly punished.  

I would think:  "Why does so and so have x,y,z?  That's not fair.  I deserve it more than they do"

First of all:  We don't know what so and so really has.  My greatest lesson on comparison was that you could be comparing yourself to a lie.

Second of all: What's fair?  I didn't need to have money or a husband because I wanted all of those things for the wrong reasons.  I wanted those things to receive all of the glory and honor.  Success was my idol and because God loves me, he knew I had no business with the trappings of success.

Lastly:  What do I deserve and why do I deserve it?   Because I am following some made up rules that make me feel superior to others.

Comparison is the root of  feeling like you were being punished.  Even better is when people want to rub others' accomplishments in your face and you really do start to feel like you're being punished.

"What am I doing wrong?"  you may ask yourself as they go on and on "It's just not fair"

It may not be fair.  It may not even be right.  It could potentially all be lies.  You just don't know.

Surrender

It is what it is.

1. Life isn’t always fair. We can do our absolute best, and still not get that “thing” we wanted. But that doesn’t mean we did anything wrong. It just means it wasn’t for us. Nicki reminds us that when life takes that unexpected turn, “We have to trust God so much that if He doesn’t give it to us, we don’t want it.” In doing so, we surrender our control for His peace.

I love the above takeaway from this week's study because   Sometimes we may think we've been cheated or missed out but God has SPARED US.  He in his unfailing love and mercy has SPARED US!!  We may not find out for YEARS why we didn't get it but if he didn't give it to us, then we shouldn't want it anyway. 

We must trust that God knows best and he's not going to give us stones for bread, snakes for fish, and scorpions for eggs

On this Sacred Journey that has been one of my most difficult lessons:  Trusting that God knows best and surrendering my life to Him even when I don't want to.

We may have our Plans but God's way is ALWAYS better.  He has unlimited vision and already knows how the story will turn out.  We have very limited vision and can only see day to day.  I would bet on the Unlimited vision of God.  It's so much better His way...Not my will but yours!