Fall 2017 Sprint: What I learned from an unmotivating and depressing motivational speech

This past weekend I listened to one of the worst motivational speakers I have ever heard.

I kept waiting for the speaker to get to the uplifting and inspirational part but he ended on a negative note.  He started off snarky and the rest of the speech was mostly complaining, anger, bitterness, and torment about what happened in the past.  

I did not leave feeling uplifted and inspired.  I felt discouraged, down, and really sad for the guy doing the speech.  It really really bothered me.

I was bothered for several reasons

1.  Clearly this man was emotionally unhealthy and should not be attempting to teach people until he begins to address his serious issues and heal.

2. He truly looked tormented and depressed.  To listen to someone like that for an hour is really draining.  He didn't smile at all and his energy was quite negative.  It was disconcerting.  

3. I thought about how that relates to the Single Lady Fix Thyself Movement that is screwing women up.

Too many emotionally unhealthy people trying to lead and teach

This is a very common thing in legalistic churches.

The whole premise of Legalism is that salvation is based upon PERFORMANCE.  So people are not focused on BEING .  They are focused on DOING even if they are unqualified and emotionally unhealthy.  

But this is also common in the "world".  We have so many terrible influencers these days because there are too many emotionally unhealthy people leading and they attract emotionally unhealthy followers because what they are peddling sounds good.

This gentleman needed to get help and healing before getting up trying to share his story.  There wasn't an inspiring or uplifting part to his talk.  There was no victory.  

Sometimes I have wondered what's taking so long with certain things but then I remember I need more to my story to really glorify God.  Where I am now is good and I would have a good story with a good testimony but I don't want "good".  I want EXCITING.  I want GLORY TO GOD.  I want WOW....that really happened?  How awesome!   To God be the Glory.

I have seen people who are trying to earn their way to heaven (literally and figuratively) by DOING.  They try to teach Bible Studies, they try to Preach, they try to lead, they try to write books, they try to teach, and they try to make motivational speeches and it's mediocre at best because they are trying to do it without victory and in the case of spiritual things...they are trying to do it without God's anointing.

I feel bad for these people because in many cases they are doing it due to the guilt of their pasts, they feel that doing these things will score points towards salvation, or they want distraction from their torments.

People need encouragement not more negativity

My Coach Caterina Rando tells us to use the acronym CAPE for when we are speaking before audiences.

Certainty

Authenticity

Positivity

Enthusiasm

I never realized how important Positivity and Enthusiasm were until listening to this poor guy.  

He was not positive.  

He started off snippy and snarky and he kept it up for the rest of the talk.  

He was not enthusiastic.  

He was defensive and angry.

Since I am not angry and negative, I found myself getting really uncomfortable the more he went on.  I kept thinking to myself, "This isn't very encouraging, this sounds like someone who is just complaining, and I am getting more down by the minute."

Last week Bishop Bart Pierce preached a sermon that was convicting.  It wasn't rainbows and sunshine but he presented the material in such a way that FIRED UP the audience because we realized it was a call to action.  

This made me realize that as a speaker, teacher, and leader it's my job to encourage people and not bring them down any further.  I believe in conviction and life application but not just ranting.  

A lot of people who are negative like this type of angry, defensive, and negative teaching.  That's what I remember most about Legalism.  They loooooved angry, screaming, defensive, and negative sermons about why everyone else is wrong because it made people feel smug and superior.  

They also didn't mind when the preacher would be up complaining and ranting about this, that, or the other with no solutions or applications.

It was negative central with a mix of Fluff-o cliche scriptures.

That's why there is no change in these churches and the people continue to wither on the vine.  The people were negative 20 years ago and they are even more negative 20 years later listening to Negativity every single Sunday.

So that renewed my commitment to be positive, uplifting, and upbeat.  If I'm too angry, then I will talk about something else or sit down.

Single Lady Fix Thyself  

Part of the reason this man was so angry and bitter was because of his failed marriage years ago.  He kept mentioning it along with his ex wife.

I started thinking about how this relates to my dating classes.

Now this man was specific that he wasn't interested in dating but I thought what would happen if he found himself attracted to a woman and gave off the signal that he was attracted to her.  She's thinking "Yay!"  

Then of course because he is so angry, bitter, and untrusting because of his failed marriage he would be unavailable. He would shut down emotionally.  Meanwhile the woman would be wondering:  

What's wrong with me that he's not responding?

What can I do to make him like me more?

Why can't I keep men interested?

Now here is the thing:  It had nothing to do with HER.  It's HIM.

But the church conferences and self help places will make you think it's all about the women!

Not true.  

Single Women Stop Trying to Fix Yourself 

Leave these Emotionally Unavailable Men Alone

Unless....

They are willing to address their issues and begin to heal

So that's what I learned.  Before I would have been more critical but I think I felt really badly for this guy.  I wonder if anyone talked to him afterward or they just let it go.

It also let me know that we should not rush our call and allow God to continue to write a story to uplift people and not depress them.