The Power of NOW in Spring 2016: Aha Moment #1 Saying Yes to Life

I am currently reading Eckhert Tolle's book, The Power of Now.  I am reading it and honestly I am glad that I am reading it now.  I have experienced on my own many of the concepts he is writing about and I am able to now understand what has been happening to me.  I've been keeping an online journal of my reflections and while I am not ready to share all of it, I would like to share excerpts of  what I am discovering

Say yes to life: Pain and suffering

The pain that you create now is always some form of non acceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is (page 33)

Several years ago I was frustrated about everything.

• I was frustrated about not making enough money
• I was frustrated because I couldn't afford to live elsewhere and I felt like a loser

• I was frustrated because I didn't see too many men that I wanted to date
• I was frustrated because nobody seemed to want to date me.
• I was frustrated because I was tired of society pushing marriage on single women especially when I seemed to be losing this battle.
• I was frustrated because I was tired of religious people and religious leaders who took advantage of people.
• I was frustrated because I felt like I had to figure everything out without any guidance
• I was frustrated because I felt like I had no support

I spent my time being Frustrated Frustrated Frustrated

If I wasn't frustrated about the present, then I was bitter about my past identity and what had been or what could have been.

If I wasn't frustrated about the present or bitter about the past, then I was anxious about the future. What if I threw my life away and wasted it?

What if I flopped hard and never recovered?

It’s Time to Say Something...

I'm not sure when it happened but somewhere along the line I began to accept my life as it is in the present and I decided there was a reason for my life being the way it is.

I would like to believe the moment it changed was when I heard the great prophet teaching of Bishop Joseph Garlington in 2015.  His message, “It’s time to say something” literally rocked my world and changed my life.  He said, “If you don’t like your life the way it is, then it’s time to say something different.” He also gave us the instructions on how to do this.

• I declare it
• God Establishes It
• Light Comes

Right after that I went to a  faith conference for women where we literally wrote our visions on the tablets to declare them.  Mine was, “I believe that the vision that God gave me will come to pass”.  The speaker then said, “It’s a puzzle now, but it will all fit together and remember you have what it takes.”

I believe those moments changed my mindset from, “I’m so frustrated because nothing is working how it should be” to “I didn’t make any of this up.  I’m on a real journey here and it’s leading to somewhere.”

I told myself that the reason I was broke was because I was learning how to faithful with little and learning how to trust God for provision because that’s where I believe my ultimate source of provision is. I also learned how to give to others when I had nothing because contrary to popular belief, you don’t automatically start giving when you have more.  It’s more meaningful to give when you don’t have anything.

I think that’s when I truly began to believe in mission and I accepted  that it would entail a lot of preparation, materials, and an actual story to share with people. 

Instead of fighting my circumstances, I started chronicling these circumstances as a story to encourage and inspire the women I wanted to reach.  I also started writing “lessons” in relation to women’s empowerment.

When it came to dating, I stopped getting so frustrated about that once I realized I had totally been lowering my expectations. Intuitively I started to sense that I was being prepared to have my mind blown and I needed to let go of all these deep insecurities of unworthiness and rejections from my past identity that were still lurking in my unconscious mind.

The bottom line was that I quit resisting my circumstances and started to embrace the now instead of being bitter about the past, frustrated about the present, and anxious about the future.

I gave myself permission to enjoy my life NOW. I didn't have to wait for the future and until circumstances were perfect and I didn't have to apologize to anyone for embracing my now and enjoying it.