Remembering the WHY: We will see His Glory if we believe

This morning I was feeling particularly sorry for myself. 

I thought about how this all seems like such a waste of time. What in the world am I doing? This is all seems to be so fruitless at this point. I decided skipping church today was not an option because when I get to feeling like this, I know God needs to have a talk with me.

I took myself to church and before going into worship, I sat in my car and I wrote in my prayer journal:  God I am feeling pretty discouraged today.  You know my heart and today I pray for an open heart and spirit for whatever you have to tell me.

see that’s what I love about God.  You just tell him straightforward what you’re feeling and you need and he delivers.

I wasn’t really feeling the worship at first but I got myself going and then we began to sing a song I hadn’t heard in ages.

Holy!  You are Holy!

Holy!  Are you Lord God Almighty!

Worthy is the Lamb!  Worthy is the Lamb!

You are Holy!

As we sang Worthy is the Lamb!  I got it...All of this was worth it in the end because God is worthy!  This journey is worth it because HE is worth it.

But God wasn’t finished talking to me yet.

Then someone in the audience jumped on stage and began to lead the congregation in a song/prayer

Let the fire fall down

Let the wind blow

Let your GLORY COME DOWN

I heard it then.  Remember WHY you are doing it: 

 I am doing this to see God’s glory. I’m not doing it because I don’t want to be single anymore or because I want my physical desires satisfied.  I’m not doing it because I want to show myself worthy to people. I’m doing it because I want to see God’s Glory.

He still wasn't Finished....

There was a prophetic word that day from the former senior pastor who prophesied that just as meterologists were forecasting that the upcoming winter was going to be one of the wettest on record and would do a lot to make a dent in our state’s severe drought, so would the floodgates of heaven open up and the Lord would rain down His Glory over the lives in the house of the Lord.  Those with eyes to see would see it.  I nodded in firm agreement because I was of the same mind that God was about to do extraordinary things in the lives of believers.

Still More...

The  current pastor Javier informed us that we were going to study the book of Nehemiah for the next 6 weeks before the Church Jubilee Celebration In the Fall.  In the first chapter of Nehemiah, he is angry and saddened that things have fallen apart in Jerusalem.  The wall is still not repaired and the gates are burned to the ground.  

Pastor Javier then asked what was inside of us that God had placed in us and why we were doing it. What were we passionate about?  What did we want to see?  Whatever it was God that placed in our lives was for His Glory and to touch others.

Right?

What I am passionate about

In that service I thought about those questions and my answers.  I was passionate about seeing women value their lives and not settle for less because they were worried nothing better was coming along.  I was passionate about women being all that they were created to be and not turning down because they were afraid they wouldn’t find a partner.  I was passionate about strong families led by powerful and loyal men.  I was passionate about esteeming men to be great leaders, husbands, and fathers rather than simply sperm receptacles or living in extended adolescence.

These are things that I am passionate about and I believed that even in these moments God is forming a story and testimony so that I can tell other people WHY God’s way worked.  As Pastor Javier shared, it isn’t only so that I could tell this story to people but so that I can share resources and lay hands on other women to stay the course and become the women of God that they were called to be.  It is so that I could have power and impact to help change what had me all worked up.  

My WHY is because I believed that somewhere out there is a man who had been originally been called and chosen by God to lead and prophesy to God’s people but had been broken somewhere along the line.  I believe that God’s original intent and call still stand in heaven but the forces of evil have kept this man locked up and tormented in bondage for years.  I sincerely believe that I cannot give up because too many people’s lives depended on it.

I have no proof of any of this.  All I have is faith and some puzzling and frustrating glimpses of the type of man I wanted to marry.

It is enough to keep me encouraged and remind me of my motivation and my WHY.

You see if my WHY is just to find a man or just to no longer be single and have a baby, it would be easier to give up, settle for whomever offers. be condemned to a life of misery, and be bitter about the whole thing.

Even though sometimes I feel angry, sad, frustrated, and discouraged I am DETERMINED to see this through to victory.

I believe the word of the Lord: Didn't I tell you that you would see the Glory of God if you believed?

To God be the Glory