Walk in Faith Bible Study: Death of a Geneva Dream and Birth of the God Dream

Well.  The title sums it all up.

When the sister Ingrid prophesied to me on Resurrection Sunday, she specifically mentioned that some situations and things in my life were going to be cut and let go because they were distractions.  I thought she meant my job which was a major distraction but then as I learned during the Daniel Fast, that wasn't the only thing that needed to go.

So was my obsession with fitness and being afraid to get fat.

I have wanted to do a fitness competition for 2 years and last year I began training towards that goal. When it didn't happen last year, I decided that I was going to work toward it and finally get it done in 2015.

It didn't go that way.  First of all I began to gain weight.  To be perfectly honest before the fast I was 5 pounds heavier than when I started and I was no closer to my goal than I was last year.  I didn't want to quit and give up but I realized that I don't need to prove anything to anyone.  For one thing, I have blamed my single situation on the fact that I wasn't 130 pounds.  Well last year I did get down to 130 pounds and the same stuff happened except that I was hungrier and preoccupied with food.

After the fast I told myself I was going to give myself a week to decide whether or not to continue on.  Of course I knew what the answer was because everything I thought of not doing it, I felt relief.  I thought how much money would be freed up to do other things with.  I also thought about how wonderful it would be to have an entire summer free from worrying about food and body image.

There is also something else that I am working on and this would be the perfect time to develop it but I cannot do it and train for the fitness contest at the same time.

So this morning I e-mailed my coach and told her I would not be continuing on.  

This was officially the death of a Geneva dream.  I believe that God has bigger things for me to do than to get onstage in a bikini.  I believe that our visions are too small and every time God asks us to kill one of OUR dreams we find out that the God dream is much better.

I learned what I was supposed to learn:  I do not need to trust in my outward appearance.  It doesn't matter.  I am good enough.  All of that other stuff didn't matter.  If someone is here for you, then they are here for you.

Right now God is leading me to work on my issues with food and body image so I can help others.  He's also leading me to work on my business and get that together.  The two are inextricably linked together.  I know this is the Holy Spirit that is leading THIS project because every day I am inspired with new ideas and writing my message down.

By focusing on the God dream it won't be just me up there receiving a trophy in a bikini but I will be my own trophy of God's grace and faithfulness.

Letting go of MY dream was hard but I know it was the right thing to do and I will be obedient where God leads me on this sacred journey.

To God Be the Glory